People often have a very bad association with couples therapy. For many, couples therapy is just another step towards separation. But really, when both partners are fully committed to a therapy, it might end up being the first step towards concrete, positive change. A big problem is that many couples don’t attend therapy until it’s too late, and often seek a counsellor as a last resort. But there are a few tell-tale signs that should indicate it’s time to seek therapy. Here are just a few:
Your Lives Feel Separate
A feeling of separation between two members of a couple is one of the most telling signs that there is something going wrong with the relationship. What was once a passionate, loving and caring relationship has now turned into nothing more than a roommate agreement.
Couples don’t necessarily need to live in separate rooms for the separation to be real. Sometimes, the friction in the couple or incomprehension from one partner creates a chasm between the two that makes any type of intimacy impossible. When you see this, it is a clear sign that you need therapy.
Infidelity (Emotional or Physical)
While most people like to fantasize to a certain extent about what it would be like to be with someone in the physical sense, fantasies can take an ugly turn once we act on them. While physical infidelity is easy to grasp, emotional infidelity is much more difficult. One partner might start acting passive aggressive and distant and make excuses not to engage in a physical relationship with the other. In other cases, a complete lack of sexual interest might be a sign that one or the other is having a mental affair with someone else. If this is the case, it is definitely time to seek a counselor.
Inability to Communicate
Communication should be seamless in a perfect relationship. But when every conversation you have is negative or downright hurtful, seek help. And this is especially true if you don’t speak out of fear of judgement, humiliation, or even worst, violence. In these cases, only a therapist could help.
Lack of Trust
Trust is something that is earned, not given, and even small things could complete break trust between two partners in a relationship. Most often than not, lack of trust can happen when someone feels cheated, emotionally or financially in some cases, making the relationship almost impossible between the two. But in some cases, trust issues can be resolved with the help of a therapist, provided both parties are truly sincere about making changes.
If either of these conditions arise, it is definitely a sign that you need to seek counseling. Whether it’s lack of trust, affection, communication or infidelities, a good counselor will be able to guide you through the proper course of action to take. In some cases, a counselor might be the only way for the two of you to speak about issues that you might not even know existed. So if you’re in a rocky relationship, but are serious about getting it back on track, seek a counselor sooner, rather than later.