To Clone or Not to Clone?

(Transcription of Audio Podcast)

Most of us either have had a science class or experimented with mixing materials together, right? Oil and water don’t mix and bleach and vinegar, baking soda and vinegar make… well, that makes a great volcano, and a red wine with most fish just don’t go together, unless you know what you are doing. Now hang on a minute, I am going somewhere with this. Back a few months ago when I was in Idaho doing a show, I learned about, well here is how it reads: straight from the headlines- A potato genetically modified with jellyfish genes, which glows when it needs watering. Jellyfish and potatoes… see where I am going with this now? Then this last week, I see the news hit the wires- FDA Expected to Approve Cloned Meat… and Milk, Lions, Tigers and bears, Oh my!

Now the good thing to know is I hear that we are in good hands. Two of the folks from the FDA you know, the (Federal DOLLAR Association)… well, they’re the people who made the patten on this process- oh boy! Talk about having your cake and eating it too. How about a little MILK with that profit?

Call me old fashion, but I like my cows to have four legs and milk that won’t moo back at me… Now, I am not saying that I think all of the breakthroughs with science are bad; I just don’t want to eat them. All this, you know, was made up because the big boys have learned that we all run around so busy trying desperately to do things that take work, without really working at them. For instances, if people want to be healthy, they wait until they are sick and depended on drug makers to get them well. People also want to want to get more out of themselves, so they get jacked up on energy drinks, Starbucks, (I am guilty of these too). I don’t want to be accused of throwing stones in this genetically modified glass house, but they make us lazy or dependent. If people want to lose weight, they take diet pills, so they lose weight while they sleep. The FDA has made us all the Quick fix kids.

It is kind of like the beefeaters in ole England- they did all the tasting for the king. This was to ensure that he was not being poisoned naturally or on purpose. Maybe we should have them try it first. Or, we could feed it to the steroid users, and they are used to being guinea pigs.

FDA is just like the medicine show magician: they bark at us telling us all we want to hear, skinnier, better looking, more energy… but we know it does us no good. It gives us more aliments than what we started with. But we are buying hope.

Now, if you want a real plan, genetically modified corn is the key, so we don’t have a shortage of that. Make it bigger and grow plenty of it, but only use it for producing ethanol. Because at last check, I don’t think they have learned how to modify OIL.

I only hope this Cloning thing does not hit Washington, DC- the last thing we want is to have more of the same politicians running around.

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Will Roberts is a trick roper and cowboy humorist, who pays tribute to Will Rogers, America’s cowboy, with a wit as quick as his rope. Will is a syndicated political cartoonist and was recently the trick-roping cowboy at Cirque du Soleil.

Will has covered the Republican National Convention, Democrat events and the McCain-Obama debates. At home in front of or behind the camera, in front of or behind a radio microphone, Will reports what he sees, usually with a twist of humor.