Corporal Punishment is Stupid and Ineffective

Warning: The following op/ed piece will only add more fuel to the “liberals are sissies” fire. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I only consider myself a liberal because liberals tend to care more about human rights than property rights. Everything else is just me being an individual.

With that being said, Rep. Carolyn McCarthy, D-New York, introduced a piece of legislation to Congress entitled the “Ending Corporal Punishment in Schools Act.” It wasn’t until my second year living in Texas that I was made aware of the fact that 20 states still allow corporal punishment – which is basically inflicting pain on an unruly student to discourage the student from ever questioning the teacher’s authority and expressing himself creatively. Oh, the bias! I mean, to discourage bad behavior. Most of those states are in the South, which is no big shock to me.

I was shocked. I was even more shocked when I read this quote from a CNN article regarding the issue of corporal punishment, from Kenneth Whalum, Jr., a board commissioner for Memphis schools in Memphis, TN:


“Our public education is in a state of crisis because the current discipline system in this nation is being ineffectively implemented… Corporal punishment would be an arrow in the quiver for teachers to use at their disposal. It’s the best way to get the system right.”

These Southern people always have it right, don’t they? Look at the rhetoric the commissioner uses, even! “Arrow in the quiver.” Such violent imagery, Commish! Language gives you away in my opinion, and by the way he talks in accordance with his profession, I wouldn’t let him anywhere near a kid if I were smart.

OK, so that may be a bit too particular and anal retentive, but he brings up an interesting point: “Our public education system is in a state of crisis.” Oh, there was more? I only saw the part about our education system being screwed. Commish, the public education system is screwed because apparently the U.S. Government doesn’t see it as much of a priority when it comes to funding. How would a lack of discipline in schools supersede the fact that funding is being cut for schools left and right on the list of reasons the whole system is in dire straits? It doesn’t. You’re just trying to sneak that past impressionable, easily-led minds.

Do you know why some schools still allow corporate punishment? It’s no secret, but you won’t find it written in any teacher’s guide or manual. They say it introduces discipline to the kid with pain. In reality, folks, corporate punishment is right in line with American culture – lazy, instant gratification and results. Simple as that. These schools would rather whip a kid into submission than verbally deal with the kid and use tact. They can’t use tact – they’re too stupid in the first place. There’s no reward system for good behavior, no incentive – just the menacing sight of a thick piece of pine hanging, of course, conveniently near the teacher. It’s lazy, pathetic discipline that the average parent resorts to on a daily basis.

Whalum goes on to say that corporal punishment cuts down on classroom interruptions that decrease instruction time. I think I have an easy solution for disruptive kids, Commish – take them out of the class! Isn’t that something? You can remove a child from class! He obviously doesn’t want to learn, anyway. Screw him. Let him come back when he can learn to keep his hand out of little Molly’s skirt. Disruption gone, and the indoctrination of impressionable young minds can continue!

By the way: Beatings aren’t allowed in mental wards and prisons, two other indoctrination centers where people are stripped of their individuality and broken down into mindless drones. Then again, those places have other means of keeping the inmates in line. They’ll be there for a long time – that’s torturous enough. Beating them would be ineffective.

Face it, folks. The reasoning for corporal punishment is no different than the reasoning behind parents abusing their kids: It relieves the teacher’s stress level and makes them feel accomplished because they can keep a kid in line.

I’m not going to go as far as to say paddling mentally scars kids, because I know it really doesn’t. Physical abuse scars people, but I’m not sold on paddling forever scarring kids. However, there is a line that has to be drawn with corporal punishment. According to statistics from the U.S. Department of Education, 41,972 students with disabilities were paddled in the 2006-2007 school year. Really, teacher? Are you such an incompetent moron that you have to resort to hitting a disabled kid? Worse yet, the school districts obviously see nothing wrong with it. If these 20 states are at the point where they’re paddling disabled kids, I think it’s time to burn these idiotic devices.

So, when can kids start whipping teachers?