Prairie Miller

While identifying with characters in a bad situation is a movie audience must, drowning in their deep funk as much as they do, is a narrative no-no.

If we're talking Twilight sagas and sexy vampires that make panting girl hearts flutter and swoon across America, who needs stars to rate a movie.

An exotic blood-drenched slice-em-up saga featuring Korean martial arts mayhem as a ploy to infiltrate big bucks bank accounts, Ninja Assassin could have maybe avoided all the fuss by simply going the less frenzied route of identity theft.

While terrorism thrillers may be high on Hollywood's to-do list lately, movies about escape from the rumored terrors of ghetto life by unusually large people, may not be far behind.

And as the excessively inebriated detective indiscriminately swallows whatever controlled and uncontrolled substances alike come his way, crazed hallucinations eventually kick in.