Putin The James Bond Character Amuses The World

There is a rumor that a big Hollywood producer has approached Putin to do his own Reality Show. Why? Because Putin makes good TV. He is easily the most entertaining Russian leader since Khrushchev, who blustered and beat his shoes on desks. What a kick to watch.

So what is it about Putin that makes him so much fun? After all, the moron in North Korea is an ignoramus and has definitely replaced Tattoo as the short funny guy on that Fantasy Island he inhabits. Yet, he still has the kid in class who thinks he’s cool, and sits and picks his nose and grosses everyone out vibe.

But back to Putin. He is the new generation of Russian leader. He talks to the world leaders and winks into the camera. We get it. He rides shirtless on a horse like some wanna be Beckham and the world laughs.

There is a definite feeling that even James Bond would have a hellava time getting rid of this Russian.

So what is his appeal, if that is really the word to describe a former Russian KGB agent?

I suggest the real reason people are amused by Putin is because he is actually a Bond character. A real life Fleming villain minus the pussycat on his lap. Okay, so he has the horse.

In a world where each morning we awaken to a new set of horrifying realities, he is the comic relief.

It’s as if he is simply a product of the comedy mind of the Daily Show and not a real guy. Just made up so Stewart can point and use him for the laugh. And laugh we do.

He walks in and takes Crimea without firing a damn shot, and we yuk it up.

Why? Because he lies and makes stuff up and John Carey makes that face that says, “yeah, right what a liar,” and we laugh harder.

Why? Because all our politicians lie to us, and we are conditioned to accept the lies and say, “okay so they lie. What do you expect?”

And that’s the problem. We have come to expect our leaders to lie, be dishonest, act ridiculous and do everything to harm us and we just laugh and shrug our shoulders.

Something has definitely changed in the last forty years because we were not laughing at Nixon. Nobody found him amusing at all. Woodward and Bernstein put their lives on the line to bring a president down because he was dishonest.

Now when our president lies, the media swear to it and get a tingle down their leg.

So whose problem is the lack of accountability with our leaders? Is it the American people, the media or the politicians who like dogs will hump anything in sight if they can; or is it merely the times? And do we have the ability to reset, and yes I used the term purposely.

Praise the Lord and Pass the Putin

If Putin is funny and Obama can do no wrong, or is it he can do wrong and it’s just all right, then who is really responsible for the lack of respect for the people running the world?

Russia and the United States are still powers without equal. Angela Merkel told Obama Putin doesn’t speak like he’s in this world. Okay, so what world does she suspect he’s in? Is she perhaps alluding to the fact he is an alien? Maybe the one who stole the Malaysian plane and flew it up to Mars with a stopover at the Crimean border?

Putin still has the firepower to end the world if he wishes, and we can match and top him for sure.

When is it no longer funny and simply tragic to watch?

I have heard so many people ask, “really what’s our business if Putin takes Crimea?”

If Europe doesn’t care why should we? And that’s a good point. Hard to find a comeback for that one, but I will try.

In 1994 we signed a paper telling Ukraine we had their back. What has changed? When did the United States stop caring about the bullies on the playground beating up the little guys?

When was it okay to walk away?

When Syrian children are being murdered?

When our ambassadors are murdered?

When Iran tweets we are idiots?

I’m confused. No wonder. Our foreign policy, whatever that may be, changes daily, even hourly. Where the hell is John Wayne when we need him?

Oops, someone will accuse me of living with a 1980’s cold war mentality. What’s so cold about nukes?

Putin, the reset, American foreign policy.

Oddly we jumped in feet first to oust Mubarak, oust Kaddafi and pitched a fit over Syria then backed down when Putin stepped in and said, “I’ll handle this guy, after all we’re buds.”

Begs the question; who is getting handled here?

We just watch as Putin runs into a convenience store and grabs a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of scotch and runs out before the owner sees him.

He has become that guy who will pull the stunts and the crap no one else has the guts to do, and we just go along for the thrill.

If Putin lived in America, he would be governor of Texas, riding bareback across his twenty acre spread, munching on a barbecue rib and guzzling a Bud.

A good old boy. We are not intimidated by him, because he is so familiar, we know this guy.

Hard to tell the good guys from the bad, when each claims they are in the right, and all their friends swear to their lies.

Annette Funicello died last year. If you weren’t paying attention you may not have noticed.

Mouseketeers, Putin, what’s the point here? Just this; an era has ended and we hardly noticed. Our youth is gone and with it decency, civility and right and wrong have left the building.

There are new sheriffs in town; ones we don’t know or recognize, scary black presences that are more frightening than Michael Landon dressed as a teenage werewolf.

Once the line, “To Serve Man is a cookbook,” scared the hell out of me and sent chills down my spine, now it’s the phrase, Russian Reset.

Pass the ribs and crack open a Bud; they’re cooking our goose for dinner.

(c) Israel Monitor, March 2014

First Published March 18, 2014

Norma Zager
Norma Zager is a Jewish woman who lives in the USA.In the series "Postcards from Israel," Ari Bussel and Norma Zager invite readers throughout the world to join them as they present reports from Israel as seen by two sets of eyes: Bussel's on the ground, Zager's counterpoint from home.Israel and the United States are interrelated - the two countries we hold dearest to our hearts - and so is this "point - counterpoint" presentation that has, since 2008, become part of our lives.