Moscow Mastermind Causes City Centre Chaos, With Porn!

Have you ever wondered how many times a day we are exposed to persuasive adverts, sometimes without even knowing? No, me neither. But I am now. When I wake up I put the telly on, and it’s full of fat men shouting “Go compare!” at me.

I leave the house to go where ever, get in the car, switch the radio on “Auto glass repair, auto glass replace!” Turn the radio off to get rid of that god awful jingle, and then drive past 100’s of giant billboards smeared with great deals. That’s a lot of exposure, and you wouldn’t even recognise or realise the amount of it unless you were really mind-bogglingly bored, thought about it and then wrote an article on it… Anyway, we’ve established there’s lots of advertising mediums out there. But, shock horror; imagine if they fell into the wrong hands. The hands of a computer mastermind, with the ability to hack everything and anything at the click of a mouse.

What evil could they fabricate with such a powerful medium at their disposal? Hypnotism? Well, such a thing occurred in Moscow just this week. An evil genius managed to hack into the electronic billboards, at the centre of Russia’s busiest city, and with a stroke of genius replaced all the advertising rubbish with something he believed people would actually want to see. Porn! That’s right.

Moscow was brought to a standstill as every billboard broadcast a blue video – now that’s exposure. Chaos ensued as hundreds of horny Russians scrambled to the billboards as though it was the second coming. Cars were abandoned, and there were several crashes as goggle eyed men gawped in amazement.

Now that’s what I call an evil genius! No one has come forward to claim responsibility for this, erm, atrocity? But police are determined to discover the identity of this randy mastermind.

Joe Garnett
Joe Garnett is 18 years old, born and raised in Leeds, UK. He is furthering his education in Journalism, and is a freelance writer, recently producing a number of articles for UK magazines.