Remember When Juice Only Came in a Glass?

Here I go, off into the wild blue yonder. I am in the airport right now heading to Washington DC. I have a show this evening for a fundraiser for Autism. I can see the headlines tomorrow, “Cowboy hits Washington.” Maybe I can get President Bush to meet me at the steps of the White House at high noon. You know, see who is faster on the draw, he might be a challenge though considering how fast he drew up that VETO for children’s healthcare. But, I am still willing to take him on. If I don’t get him with my quick wit, than I am sure to catch him with my rope.

Well now anyhow, as I sit here waiting for my flight to board, I am reading the USA Today, and I see where folks – Guy folks – are stepping, and trending on and out right stomping on Marion Jones … The female athlete that came out of the locker-room about her doping in the 2000 Olympics.

Now, whatever happened to gentlemen opening doors or laying their coats down on a puddle so ladies can walk across in dignity? Now were tossing this young lady under the bus. Making her the fall guy. Don’t get me wrong, she deserves all that she gets. And, honestly after the crime it’s still called a confession, she is no hero. However, give credit where credit is due. When was the last time you heard of a man confessing to his doping charges, or for anything, for that matter?

We had a senator that admitted his guilt recently, but retracted that, and is now is looking for someone else to blame. This athlete Marion Jones confessed, plain and simple and is willing to face her charges. To me, that is worth its weight in all the gold bling bling Barry bonds has. I see where folks have criticized her for being a good actor. Now if you were faced with all the shame and stress of all the media and the people who believed in you, you would cry like a baby too. I know I would.

Recently, I’ve seen statistics on doping and not surprising at all MEN, MEN were at the top of the list. Some other interesting facts surfaced as well. Doping is not just steroids. The list included marijuana that was a US snowboarder, (laugh) diet pills and caffeine (that one was dropped) probably as to not lose Starbucks as a future sponsor. CAFFEINE, wow, looks like now a days your pick me up is a let down.

So, this recent development leads me to believe those women are the more honest of the two species. That should be Hillary’s next campaign slogan “I am less likely to lie because I am not a guy.” As I see it, sports are having an up hill battle keeping its fans and sponsors. Bike racing – almost extinct, Football, we have Patriots that cheat, baseball – hail to the home run king! Now male or female athletes both carry this torch. I know they say competition is healthy but only if you play healthy.

Sports have built this country and it is supposed to be hard working, and honest. If you want to be dishonest, be a politician, their naturals at it. Sports are the only places where winners and losers occupy the same space, in our hearts, because we are die-hard fans. Don’t disappoint us.

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Will Roberts
Will Roberts is a Guinness World Record holder for Cowboy six gun, a weapons expert and professional actor. He is a trick roper and cowboy humorist, who pays tribute to Will Rogers, America's cowboy, with a wit as quick as his rope. Will is a syndicated political cartoonist and was the trick-roping cowboy at Cirque du Soleil.Will has covered the Republican National Convention, Democrat events and Presidential debates. At home in front of or behind the camera, in front of or behind a radio microphone, Will reports what he sees, usually with a twist of humor.