I wouldn’t blame anyone out there reading this to be a bit skeptical on the front end, but I swear what I’m about to relate here is as true as Hugh Hefner liking naked women! Folks, here in Macon, Georgia, right here in my little town of residence, we had a local state senator, Robert Brown, who gave a news conference this past Thursday, December 30th.
The reasons behind his press conference were pretty amazing in and of themselves, Senator Brown had just made comments about a colleague who’d just switched parties over to the Republicans, saying that said colleague needed to “keep his white sheets for the midnight meeting.” Needless to say, this drew a lot of heated response back given his obvious inference to the Ku Klux Klan. Things became so heated, in fact, that the good Senator Brown felt the need to explain his side of things. And that’s what sets the stage for today’s serving of, “Wrestlemania Macon Style!”
What happened? Well, right after his press conference Senator Brown left with two bodyguards in tow. A reporter from the Macon Telegraph ran a bit ahead of the Senator to snap pics, when one of the two bodyguards, a man named Malik Brown (and I mean a large, large man named Malik Brown) slammed the photographer against the wall, actually doing some physical damage to him. Y’all can see this touching incident for yourselves right here:
Isn’t that wild? Does me good to see the political process working so well right here in the town I live in! But far be it from me to “pile on the heap” given the obvious reactions that are now coming in! Instead, I think I’ve worked out some proactive solutions so that this situation can be pulled right out of the poopie heap and turned into proverbial gold! So without further ado, amongst them be:
1. Someone associated with Macon City Government needs to put in a call right now to Vince McMahon! Tell him to get a talent scout down here and really consider the possibilities for a potential World Wrestling Entertainment career for Malik Brown! Think of what an anti-free press, anti “live and let live” type character could do for his ratings! He could call him “The Macon Wall Masher,” or “The Pretzel,” or even “The Masked Macon Photo Mauler!” I guarantee y’all it’s a gimmick that’ll make Mr. McMahon a lot of money and ensure secure employment for Mr. Brown for a long, long time! And think about this gimmick’s future potential – once Mr. Brown mashes up all the local news media people here, he could move on up to New York where he could mash up all the big names at Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, and more!
2. Perhaps the Macon City Government charter could be amended and an octagon installed right in the City Council chambers! Then, if council couldn’t agree on some issue, a little “one on one” scrap between the two opposing sides is scheduled and broadcast on our local cable access channel. Whoever wins gets their way, and our kids then learn that physical fitness combined with Ric Flair type cheating is the ticket for sure fire success!
3. Maybe Pfizer could sign up Mr. Brown as a spokesperson for Viagra! Hey, if he can stand up a photographer like he did in that video, well, just sayin’, y’all know……
See? It doesn’t take long to turn lemons into lemonade if you just put a little thought into it! So, I guess now that I’ve worked out this situation should I next work on solving the problems over in Iran and North Korea, too……..
