WWE Wants You to Stand Up For The Company!

With the elections rapidly approaching, candidates are fighting to get their last words in to sway voters. Lies, deceit and smear campaigns are prevalent, as with any political race. However, one candidate has a major edge – the backing of WWE Chairman Vincent K. McMahon.

Yes, his wife is running for Senate in Connecticut.

Vince launched a “Stand Up For WWE” campaign on Monday to attempt to take some of the political heat off of WWE. He is calling on the fans to help stop biased and inaccurate attacks against the company that come as a result of his wife, former WWE CEO Linda McMahon’s Senate bid.

Vince is pushing the facts down our throats with this campaign through TV and various Internet social media sites. Facts such as “WWE programming is PG,” “over 78% of the WWE audience is 18 and over,” and a never-ending litany of all of the minor accolades and achievements the company can hold to its name are being spewed ad infinitum to combat these “unfair and biased” attacks.

Well, as a suffering WWE fan, allow me to give a list of facts that I have taken note of.

FACT: WWE switched to PG for Linda’s political agenda, not the fans.

WWE programming was dropped from TV-14 to PG for one specific reason: For Vince to capitalize on the younger audience and make parents more willing to let their kids watch WWE programming. Where there are parents, there are votes. See where I’m going? Vince changed the rating to serve his wife’s political agenda, NOT the fans. Plus, more kids equals more merchandise sales, which equals more money in his abysmally deep pockets.

FACT: The “Stand Up For WWE” campaign is another lame attempt for Vince to get his wife a few more voters and play to the senses of children

This “Stand Up For WWE” campaign is intended to play to the senses of easily led and impressionable fans – you know, the ones he suckered in with the new PG rating. Kids will see him begging for help and run to their parents asking them to help this corporate swine ensure his wife becomes a senator. Fans from overseas who don’t know as much about Linda’s political campaign and Vince’s true intentions will fall in line and fight back the naysayers. You see, Vince played the victim so well back in 1994, so I’m smart enough today to know he’s still a selfish, greedy idiot.

FACT: WWE parades their minor achievements and accolades at almost every commercial break

WWE is happy to spew their achievements all over the air during commercial breaks. They boast about their website getting more hits than other companies, TV ratings and all of the charity work they do. Charity work is good, and it is commendable. However, it’s just that – charity work. You’re supposed to be doing it for the good of mankind, not to add another notch in your belt. Just watch Monday Night Raw and wait for the commercial breaks, and you’ll see what I mean. Boast after boast of how they help kids so much – we get it. It’s no surprise that their boastfulness seemed to increase after they switched over to PG.

FACT: All of these new campaigns and vignettes are devised as another way to create a family friendly mask for WWE and potential voters

Just last week, Vince launched another campaign entitled “Politicians Embrace WWE.” I don’t think I even have to explain this one. Once again, a lame and pathetic attempt at creating a “family friendly” image for WWE – because we all know politicians are good, clean and ambitious people, right? Actually, this is only fitting, now that Vince has become an unofficial campaign manager for his wife.

Then came another couple videos highlighting the great things WWE does for kids and families, again. At no great shock to me, the “TV PG” rating box is shown fullscreen before and after the videos. Wrestlers talk about how great WWE is and how families should always tune in. This kind of sappy, puke inducing stuff was never produced in the months leading up to October, so why now? Do I HAVE to repeat myself?

Now, some of you at this point may be saying “John, he’s not doing this for his wife, he’s doing this just to clear the air!” Really? People have been attacking the company since Linda announced she was running for Senate – why couldn’t he have launched his lousy campaign then? Isn’t it so convenient that the elections are three weeks away?

You see, the videos, campaigns, vignettes and slogans are all intended for one major goal: A fail safe for those who question WWE’s past. You know, the blood, swearing and overall ruthless nature of the product.

A real stake in the heart of her campaign could be Blumenthal showing a video package of the “Katie Vick” storyline on television with her face near it. Another fatal blow to her could be him reading off a list of wrestlers who have died tragically in the years that she was CEO due to steroids and other drugs. And a surefire way to put the dirt on her grave would be to play any video package of the stable D-Generation X.

Vince thinks all he has to do is quickly change the rating and announce WWE is miles away from their obscene past to get people to forget. Remember something: The objective of the newly adopted PG rating is to sucker in NEW young fans – fans whose parents would never let them watch it in the past. Therefore, these parents have never seen or heard of such indecency. Vince has a free pass, and the past of the company seemingly disappears.

In the end, the fans that have held on through the Monday Night Wars and Attitude Era have to suffer thanks to Linda trying to clean her face of the filth of the past. We’re all biased and attackers because we disagree with his motives for making the show PG, and little kids need to STAND UP to us and say we must take the PG era blindly and agree with all Vince says.

Congratulations, Vince. You’re a smart corporate idiot after all. Just don’t expect me to “STAND UP” for you. However, you can expect me to cheer Blumenthal to victory this November.

John Danz Jr
John Danz Jr is a serious writer with a penchant for poetry and building a foundation in every form of writing. He is motivated by a never-ending thirst for informed knowledge and the feeling of accomplishment that comes with every completed poem or story.A drummer drawn to classic and modern rock/metal music, John is deeply interested in meteorology, psychology, sociology and philosophy. Weather has always fascinated him, he wants to know why people do what they do, understand the cultures of the world, reflect on great minds and gain a better understanding of this world and our place in it.