Savvy Ways to Save Friendship on Facebook

Just like a wedding feast where you only invite people that you want to see on the most momentous day of your life, Facebook works the same.

You don’t want to see a throng of gate crashers on your wedding day who you don’t know from Adam, jostling among the crowd taking part in the wedding bouquet toss, do you?

But what if a guest asks to be invited – should you confirm or ignore?

Whether it’s a wedding feast or a birthday bash, inviting friends to step into your turf is the same dilemma that any Facebook user experiences – whether to add or not to add an acquaintance, old friend, childhood friend, and ex-colleague, former boss or long lost relative that tracked you down through friend search.


“The reason why I got a Facebook account is to meet new people all over the world. I never looked for my long forgotten friends so I could build new friendships.” Anna, an avid Facebook user, says.

Facebook the most popular social networking venue in our modern high tech world now-a-days has gained acceptance by corporate society, student population, stay home moms, any regular person or even a fugitive at large ( as CNN reported one who updated his status on Facebook while in hiding.) With its expected surge of users periodically, since 2008, Facebook has upped its number to 16 million users all over the world.

With this massive amount of users, people have an extended friends list ranging from 50 to 2000 names or more. But the drawback of having a slew of friends on your list is when they become oblivious to the code of Facebook ethics.

Chara claimed “I’ve received 17 emails containing comments about a picture posted by a friend. These comments are from people I don’t even know.”

Richard added “I don’t like how people can just add me when they see my picture on the suggestion corner of Facebook.”

“I’ve been tagged by a friend about an old picture that I never wanted to publish. If I had wanted to do that, I could’ve done that myself. The least that this person could’ve done is to ask permission first before posting it on Facebook,” Richard complained.

Some Facebook users may be missing the whole point of the art of social networking. Facebook’s pivotal objective is to make people connect and reconnect with friends, to keep abreast with the latest stories, accomplishments or to basically touch base and not irk other users.

Ergo, a smooth flow of communication amongst the listed friends that you’ve delightfully added on your list should be noticable. “I’ve deleted some friends who added me and don’t even drop a line or two to say hi.” Terry exclaimed.

Doesn’t that make sense? What’s the point of having tons of friends if their photos sit on your Facebook that look more like an obituary page than bustling with free flowing exchange of messages that you’d excitingly look forward to see once you log on.

To avoid getting deleted from your list of friends whose names you sweated out typing on the friend search, here are the basic rules that will keep you on your toes.

1. Always ask permission from a person before you tag your old picture or pictures you’re not proud to show off. An apology will not come handy when people start poking fun at you after viewing the pics.

2. Stop and think first before you type the person’s name before you add. Do you really want to connect or reconnect with this person or you just want to flaunt your gathered bunch of friends on your page.

3. Answer their Facebook emails promptly. A user who doesn’t get any Facebook email reply would assume that a person has no access to internet or evidently busy. However, if a person is expecting a reply from you and sees that you’ve been updating your status recently, no matter how valid your reason for not replying, it will still give a wrong impression to the person who took time to email you.

4. If you’re a Facebook game enthusiast, keep the badge of Facebook game of honor on your wall. Try not to grandstand that you’re a Mafia War crackerjack by posting your highest attack rating on somebody else’s wall. Some people are just not into online games. You could just imagine how this could be irksome not to mention rude to others.

5. Keep your wall perky and bustling with cheery notes dashed with words of encouragement or sprinkle your update status with light clean humor that could elicit comments from your friends. An overwrought Facebook user wouldn’t be excited to read your steamy tirade about your boss or how your boyfriend dumped you via text message.

6. Before you add a stranger, click his posted pictures.

Pictures do not lie. You’ll get an idea of the type of personality or the kind of person with whom you’ll be associated. Remember, a picture is worth a thousand words.

Having your own Facebook page is akin to setting your own wedding ambience, whether you want it cozy, intimate and warm or an uproarious circus-like atmosphere with a hodge podge of everything. It’s all up to you.

For some people, having a handful of acknowledging and affable listed friends is enough, but to others, the more the merrier.

Joy Filipovic
Joy Filipovic is a non-fiction book writer who has a passion for reading and writing, and teaches English to preschoolers.