Poor Martha’s Not Poor No More

But she might be getting lonely.

First Uber cook Emil Lagasse’s wife fires on American’s famous felon in spite of Ms. Stewart having dropped 40 million smackers on the big Emil for some of his restaurants.

Now your next “Blue Light Special” will call out, “Sheet Sale on aisle 12, look for the Jaclyn Smith designs.”

Oh, yes, not since Tammy Faye Bakker washed off 2 pounds of make up and stopped shopping at K-mart have such changes occurred there.

Well, that and the Sears sale thing, which didn’t seem to help business much. Major problems in that area were not big K’s fault so much as business sabotaged by the ugly W store. Ah, yes, dear shoppers, in San Diego, Walmart skulked around in back rooms to purchase property K’s most profitable same-sales store sat on, then refused to renew the lease at any price.

And we thought the Bush family military contractors were cut throats – that Walmart crowd are demons to reckon with. Anyway, back to Martha and Jackie, yep, read it and chuckle, ex Charlie’s Angel star turned retail magnate Jaclyn Smith is now the fair haired albeit gray-haired hero of K-mart.

It was officially announced today. Martha, previous linen-line guru of the Blue Light dumped for Jaclyn Smith.

Sears Holdings Corporation, Kmart’s parent company, claims it terminated Ms. Martha because her contracts demanded prices far too high to guaranteed Kmart any profit left after paying off Martha’s royalties.

Jackie been washed in Blue Light for a long time, she first signed endorsement deals with K 23 years ago. Guess Sears CEO figured Smith being one of the retailer’s first celeb brands, to be a natural for promotion.

TV publisher media star Stewart’s shine has dimmed ever since her federal prison cell decoration days when she once more uttered her famous closing, “It’s a good thing.”

The much ballyhooed comeback hasn’t quite panned out nor did her Donald deal when she tried to trump competitors for Trump only to find shows like “Lost” came up with a full-house.

Claudia Strasbaugh
Claudia Strasbaugh was a freelance writer who founded Scripps Ranch/Mira Mesa Writer's Guild, was head writer for the weekly TV show "Kill 'EM With Comedy," plus California Bureau Chief for National Lotto World Magazine. Claudia also ran a nonprofit called Dinner On A Dollar. Sadly, Claudia passed away in 2015, but we are pleased to display her writing works.