David Kessler is the #1 grief expert who has spent decades working with those whose loved ones left them brokenhearted or they’ve died. He has put together the strategies below as well as a video to help those dealing with loss.
Holidays are about togetherness. How do we have togetherness when the one we want to be with isn’t with us anymore?
For many people, holidays are the hardest part of grieving. When you have lost someone special, your world loses its celebratory qualities.
Holidays only magnify the loss.
David has put together 7 strategies to help get you through the holidays.
- Be honest about your grief. There’s pressure to have a joyful holiday even when nothing has gone wrong in life. You’re not a Grinch, you’re in grief! Don’t feel the need to fake it or be happier than you actually are. You don’t have to have a holiday joy!!
- Include the loss into your holidays. The grief is there anyway. Light a candle in their honor. Dedicate the prayer before dinner to your loved one. Have everyone at the dinner table share a favorite story about your loved one that died.
- Take your grief online. Facebook is the new town square. Share photos of a past Christmas. Also there are many closed Facebook groups, just for those grieving.You will quickly see others are also feeling loss during the holidays.
- For events, always have an exit strategy. You don’t have to stay. Feel free to say, you just wanted to drop by or you have another event to get to. You can even text yourself if you need to … time to go!
- Re-evaluate your rituals. Choose what works and what doesn’t. You can even cancel a holiday. You don’t have to do those 200 Christmas cards. You don’t have to cook the dinner. Free yourself.
- “No” is a complete sentence. You should not have to do anything you don’t want to do. And you don’t have to explain it. “No, thank you” also works well.
- Pay attention to the children. They are often the forgotten grievers. We think since kids seem busy in school they are fine. Or it’s easier to focus on the adults. But children feel the grief and have less life experience and tools to deal with the loss.
For more info on David please visit www.DavidKessler.org