Rolling in Heavenly Aisles


“Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40 years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil.” Golda Meir

First, someone needs to apologize to Moses for Mrs. Meir, but I am certain she has already interrupted the heavenly Mah Jong game to do so herself.

Of course Moses wasn’t surprised and is probably passing out cigars to everyone and bragging, “Nu, I told you so. They never bothered to look.”

God has a sense of humor. Difficult to take at times when it is directed against you, other times you can share in the laugh.

The latest news about Israel’s shale discovery has me sharing a giant guffaw with God.

Who knew?

The laugh is on us, everyone who ran around like kosher chicken soldiers with their heads cut off trying to figure out how to save Israel from its enemies.

Meanwhile, God sat in his heavenly kingdom, chuckling with glee, knowing full well no one could ever guess how he would rearrange the world once more in favor of Israel. How he would set the world on its Jew-hating ears. The Lord is a regular Shecky Greene.

But we have to wonder if Israel gets it. Do they understand what the Lord wants them to do? What exactly is His worldly plan? Or will Israel screw up the whole joke?

What plan you may ask?

Easy. Oil for 20 dollars a barrel.

Absolutely. Israel must become the Walmart of Middle East oil.

How better to destroy your competition than to put them out of business?

Arab strength comes from oil. Without it they are powerless. Guess with Israel undercutting OPEC we have an Arabian stallion of a different color.

So what are the odds Israel understands the power it might potentially wield?

I wonder.

There will be a new attitude toward the Jewish State if it becomes a player on the global energy stage.

I think even Mr. Obama and Ms. Hillary would even stop trying to force Israel out of business if there was something in it for them.

Doing the right thing, standing by an ally, seeing through the evil intention of Israel’s enemies just wasn’t enough to make this administration do the right thing. Now that it is the kid on the block who just won the lottery, there may have to be some serious tush kissing.

SO, what will happen in Israel?

I am sure of only one thing. There will be battles galore in the Knesset. Boy, how Jews love a good fight along with the after dinner fruit plate and piece of cake.

The Left and Right will put on the boxing gloves and go ten rounds in a bout more violent than the Vegas MGM Tyson / Holyfield fight when guns blazed in the casino.

Israeli politicians are like a family who can’t get along when things are bad, and when they hit the jackpot it is even more serious dysfunction junction on the home front.

Jewish life comes cheap in the world, Jewish oil maybe more so. A real conundrum for humanity.

The Lord wasn’t going to make it easy; he never does. I wonder how long he has been planning this fly in the world’s ointment?

Giggling and stroking his beard the Lord sits, waiting for exactly the right moment to disclose his little surprise ending.

A humorous little plot twist, just when the world thought it had Israel on the ropes. As the U.N. was salivating at finally pounding the last nail in Israel’s coffin, like a black bomb, boom from the skies it drops, oil, Black Gold, Texas Tea.

Well, seems like we have a real horse race now.

What a joke on the entire planet? That old line about the world being lucky there is no oil in Israel or it would be ten dollars a gallon has come true.

Or has it?

For once in its life Israel has to be smart. It has to be proactive instead of reactive and throw the first punch.

Line up those oil buyers and have them sign on the dotted line-at discount prices.

Funny, Israel wasn’t important to the world when they were curing cancer, healing hearts, fighting diseases or inventing incredible technologies.

But sludge, now they are worth something!

At least Israel knows who its friends are. No one.

Aren’t you glad God sprang this little maneuver on the Jewish State when they were down on the ground, one kick away from evil’s final goal?

The timing is impeccable. Who couldn’t love this?

We are still years away from knowing the final outcome of this latest bombshell, but it should possess a Hitchcockian shocker of an ending.

Oil makes the world go around and the Seven Sisters still run the planet. How amusing that they just discovered there was an eighth sister no one knew about. Should be fun to watch how a Jewish branch affects that family tree.

Norma Zager is a Jewish woman who lives in the USA.

In the series “Postcards from Israel,” Ari Bussel and Norma Zager invite readers throughout the world to join them as they present reports from Israel as seen by two sets of eyes: Bussel’s on the ground, Zager’s counterpoint from home.

Israel and the United States are interrelated – the two countries we hold dearest to our hearts – and so is this “point – counterpoint” presentation that has, since 2008, become part of our lives.