My Break Up with Sydney

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When you’re dating a city like Sydney, you expect to be slapped, kicked out, scolded and maybe even brutally attacked at some time during the relationship – but when Sydney goes overboard and begins to ignore your needs, its time to – break up.

After 23 years of living in Sydney, the time has come to end my relationship with the unfriendly city. Sydney cheated on me and ignored me for the past 3 or so years. She left me stranded in the suburbs while the whore partied all night long beneath the bridge. She showed off her Opera cleavage house to all the men from around the world, including the US Navy. She hosted the world in her bedroom in 2000 and then welcomed the Pope – which to me is an oxymoron.

Dating Sydney is like dating the most fabulous girl in high school who you know is out of your league and who you know is cheating on you but you deny it to yourself. I am not quite sure if I dumped Sydney, or if Sydney dumped me? Perhaps this was a mutual break up? Perhaps in every break up there is no clear dumper and no clear dumped? Well if I am broken up and happy, does this mean I broke up with Sydney?

Isn’t it the one who got away always happiest? Like the object of my obsession, who is happy and who is the only girl I ever loved (I never really loved Sydney, it was an arranged defacto). Who really cares who broke up with whom? I care. When you’re in a relationship that is going nowhere and you finally break free like I did, I want the world to know that I have now been liberated. New York, London, San Francisco, Paris, Prague, and Tokyo, I am now on the market.

The break up all began last Wednesday, where I went to a mediator (travel agent) to discuss my options. We spoke for a while, and 1 hour later I was suddenly single again and another hour after that, I was suddenly in another relationship. I bought a ticket to meet New York. In a month’s time, New York and I will go on a date in the city. New York may not quite be as beautiful as Sydney, but isn’t it the inside that counts? The personality? Believe me; if it is the personality then Sydney loses hands down without even me meeting New York for our wonderful date in Midtown.

I wonder how Sydney feels now after it has lost its loyal boyfriend. I wonder if Sydney will miss me. I wonder if I will miss Sydney. I wonder what this all means and I wonder if New York and I will marry, become newlyweds – and if we do, who will move where? What if New York turns out to be an ugly colourless lover? Will Sydney take me back?

I may not be able to answer all these questions yet, but I do know one thing for sure. The break-up between Sydney and I is perfect. I have never been so happy and I am excited about meeting New York – I think she may be the one. I can feel it. I always felt my relationship with Sydney was a ticking time bomb. Actually as I come to think about, I think my mother paid Sydney to date me, because frankly my dear, I don’t think Sydney even gave a damn!