What Do Women Want?


It’s the age old question asked by men worldwide… what DO women want? We say we want you to be honest, but then make you sleep on the couch for agreeing that “yes the pants do make us look a little fat.” We say we want romance but roll our eyes when you bring home a dozen roses. We ask questions that we know you have no answer to, then question your level of commitment for not having an answer.

Many men like to think that we don’t really know what we want, and in some ways that may be true. What we ask of you has many meanings, and unless you are lucky enough to have a woman who is happy to explain, you may be left wondering what you did wrong.

So in an effort to keep peace between “Venus” and “Mars”, let’s decipher some of our most popular codes:

1.”Do I look fat in this?” Gentlemen, there is only one answer that you can give to this question and that answer is “no”. It does not matter if we tell you we want you to be honest, it does not matter if we say we already know the answer is yes but want another opinion, and if we swear we won’t be mad, well that is a lie, so don’t you believe it. Truth is if we are asking this question, chances are that one of two things are happening in our heads; #1 – we already know we look fat but are desperately hoping you will disagree, or #2 – we are simply having a bad day and really need a compliment from you. While it may be appropriate to say “honey, I really like the other dress on you better”, it is never, I repeat NEVER a good idea for you to agree that we look fat.

2.”I need you to be more romantic”. Now this one is a little tricky. The reason I say this is because it will involve an imagination on your part. Buying flowers at 6:00 pm on Valentine’s Day or asking her on her birthday what she would like to do will never make her happy. Truth is we don’t want to have to tell you what we want in the romance department, we want you to pay attention to the daily hints we give and well, as Nike would say… “Just do it!” By this I mean, when you’re forced to watch a chick flick don’t just zone out mid-movie. Listen to her. When she says “that’s so sweet” or “see, I wish you would do that” or a tear falls from her eyes as she swears “this is the most romantic movie ever”- these are all clues. If she mentions something that a friend’s significant other did for them and ends the story with “isn’t that romantic?” or “he’s such a great guy”, make a mental note. Women love to be surprised, in fact we need it. Even the simplest things that you would never imagine could matter will make a huge difference to her. So get your thinking hats on and step outside of the box on this one.

3.”Are you ever going to marry me?” Some you guys are running away as you read this, but take a deep breath – it’s really not so bad. For those of you who have been dating the same woman for five to ten years, your woman actually may be looking for an exact date. However, for those in newer relationships, there is a pretty good chance that the only answer she is looking for is one that commits you to the idea of marriage. As women get a little older, they begin to look at relationships differently. A woman in her 30’s wants to know the relationship has a future. She doesn’t want to waste six years with a guy who has no intentions of marrying her. So honestly guys, if you get queasy trying to think up a future date or break into a sweat every time you see her glance at a jewelry store, you can probably buy yourself sometime by simply letting her know that you cannot give her a date, but you certainly are intending to ask eventually.

So remember guys, women are just not as simple as men are. We require a little imagination and finesse. Making us happy doesn’t require a lot of work, but it does require your attention. So, if you want to stay on her good side and out of the dog house, remember to read between the lines. If you really listen, she is telling you what she wants.

Sian Bitner is a Cincinnati native, and freelance writer, who loves occasional life coaching. While her topics of choice are relationships, and digging into the mind of a woman, she is more than willing to offer her opinion on any topic you send her way.