One of the most challenging situations I have been in over the years was not raising four boys and a little princess. Although I must admit raising kids seemed to pass the days by rather quickly and never a boring moment.
With the oldest asking me if at the age of four could he go to the 9-11 site and help locate missing people because he is a good finder, to the second in command who has the ability to make light and a joke out of every situation, to the third son who just never grasped the concept of sharing and the fourth no matter how hard you tried to explain or said no a thousand times just would not except no for an answer to any request of his. Then there’s the princess who cried for three hours thinking her eye ball was going to fall out unless I placed a bandaide over it to seal it in.
No not one challenging moment could ever compare to the challenges and difference we face when married to a woman you love.
Often people ask me how we managed to still love and spend meaningful time together with our busy lifestyles. We always answered the same way no matter who asked: Patients and kindness.
You must decide early on that you have no expectations of the other and be patient with that person, kind to that person. Give in when needed but still maintain your individualities.
You’re not always going to agree but keeping a open mind being respectful and no name calling or put downs of any kind. Spend time together whether it’s sitting around the kitchen table sharing the days stories sipping on a glass of wine or tea.
Take a nice hot bubble bath or shower together, in our mid thirties we still dedicate our time together, even if late at night when all the kids are asleep and we fill the tub with warm water and some bubbles and just spend 15-30 minutes soaking and talking. My wife loves listening to me read to her while were soaking and I spend several nights a week reading to her until she falls asleep.
Chores around the house are never ending and we both can see that the laundry basket is over flowing, the floors need to be mopped and the windows cleaned. Neither one needs to ask or tell the other one what needs to be done for the day we just do it.
Then comes the most important one of all be very slow to get angry and never ever no matter how you may be feeling inside never I mean Never lay a hand on the other in anger AT ALL.
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Now stop reading, go tell your spouse how much you appreciate them, better yet show them how much they are appreciated, it’s never too late.