One of the major dynamics that exists for individuals that both executive coaches and life coaches deal with in assisting their clients is commonly called “the gap.” The “gap” is the distance between one’s current reality and one’s desired reality. It is that space between what is and what one would rather it be and become.
There are many things that come into play that create the gap. For some, it is an unexpected ending of a chapter in their journey, either due to circumstances beyond their control (such as a job termination, or the end of a relationship). For others, they grow tired of the season they are in and are ready for a change of seasons. Yet for others, they are highly motivated to continue to move onward and upward, and they are constantly looking for the next compelling challenge that speaks to their sense of purpose and calling.
Regardless of which of these (or perhaps other possibilities) are the reasons for the gap. That gap, in every case, reveals a discrepancy between where one currently is and where one desires to be (or hopes to figure out where one desires to be).
That being the case, fully being able to identify your current reality is absolutely essential. Without telling yourself the whole truth about current reality, you won’t know exactly where you are. If you don’t know where you are, you won’t know how to get to where you want to be.
For example, you can know that by car it is generally about a four hour drive from Boston to New York City, in a southerly direction on the appropriate highways. However, if you think you are in Boston, when in fact you are in Portland, Maine, two hours further north, you will be quite frustrated in your journey when your expectations of arriving in New York City are not met in just under 4 hours.
Learning to describe current reality in an effort to arrive at your desired reality requires far more than merely looking at the surface of what is taking place. It is essential to take a look at your interpretations of where you are. Those interpretations have created the meaning you are making about your present situation. This in turn has determined your judgments, evaluations, feelings, mood, and ultimately your actions.
All of that, believe it or not, takes some unpacking. Fail to unpack all that, and you will repeat cycles of frustration in relation to arriving at your desired reality, only to never get to where you want to be. It takes time for the kind of self-reflection and asking of the appropriate questions to arrive at clarity on the inside so you can move forward on the outside.
You are responsible for everything you think, feel, do, and say. Closing the gap between current reality and desired reality begins first by owning where you are. Owning where you are requires owning everything in those domains mentioned regarding the way you see where you are, the way you interpret and make meaning of where you are, the emotions and feelings that are driving you to where you are, the things you are doing in the place where you are, and the actions you are currently taking to be where you are.
When you are prepared to do the inner homework of accurately assessing your current reality, then and only then are you going to be able to navigate the gap and bridge the distance to your desired reality.