One of the hardest things to recognize and admit is that you and your partner need counseling. The signs that you need help may be right before you, but chances are that you, like most people, are in denial. And you are not alone. Most people have unrealistic views and expectations about relationships.
They have fallen for the fairy tale story of meeting the “one” and living happily ever after. But it takes work to make a relationship work. So, if you realize that your relationship needs help, get it. If you are still in denial, here are ways to know it’s time for your couple to seek counseling.
1) You Are Not Talking
Communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. It allows couples to articulate their needs and voice their grievances to each other. If communication breaks down, the relationship is in danger of falling apart. Counseling in this case is important for it helps a couple reconnect.
2) You are Afraid to Talk
Sometimes, a couple does not want to rock the boat by discussing difficult topics such as sex or money. But ignoring a problem does not make it go away. Instead, it starts festering and growing and may come out in the middle of an explosive argument somewhere in the future. In these cases, only trained professionals can help reconcile partners.
3) You Talk Negatively to Each Other
Negative communication patterns include insulting, judging, threatening or humiliating your partner. Talking to your partner like this is never justifiable even when he or she wrongs you. In fact, this behavior is tantamount to emotional abuse. To resolve sticky issues, both of you should see a counselor on how to resolve them amicably.
4) You are Withholding Affection
Couples withhold affection from each other as a form of punishment. This usually involves pulling away and giving each other the silent treatment. Others withhold compliments or even sex. You should never stoop to the level of punishing your partner for real or perceived wrongs. Although this behavior is gratifying at the moment, it ultimately destroys your relationship.
5) You See Your Partner as an Enemy
As affection dies in a relationship, couples can turn on each other. They may then treat each other as adversaries. A couple must always be on the same team. If you regard your partner as your enemy and vice versa, it is time to see a counselor.
6) You are Hiding Things from Each Other
Secrets erode the trust in a relationship. And without trust, a relationship is bound to fail. Do not tolerate secretive behavior in your partner or yourself. Seek professional help on how to be open with each other about everything.
7) You are Living Separate Lives
After being together for a long time, a couple can start drifting apart if they are not careful. They then end up living like roommates than a couple. Eventually, they drift so far apart that a breakup is inevitable. When you sense a rift between you and your partner, see a counselor before it is too late.
8) You are Thinking of Having an Affair
Few relationships can survive an affair. And if you are contemplating having one, chances are that you feel empty and unfulfilled. But instead of cheating, you should visit a counselor with your partner. Both of you can then determine whether you need to remain together or separate.
Seeing a counselor is not a sign of weakness. It simply means that you care enough about your relationship to make it work. So, if you note any of the above problems, make an appointment as soon as possible.