Will Says… The Crying Baby John Boehner Has a Plan for America!


Folks, I don’t mean to play into someone’s weakness. However, one man’s weakness might be another man’s strength. Of course, I am pointing out new “Weeper of the House”, John Boehner. Maybe, just maybe, he considers his crying or sensitivity a plus for his job as the man of the people. Perhaps we should all, as a country, be thankful he is not a raging-alcoholic.

With fits of screaming, think Howard Dean. Although some may see crying as a sign of weakness or his emotional state and not a qualification to be Representative of his State (Ohio); he seems pretty sure of his convictions… Like getting our president convicted as a socialist, money spending, liberal.

The new mantra for the Republicans is, “Walk tall and carry a BIG stick, or mallet! Or is that a sawed off Croquet mallet. Ok, now since I am on the subject of this mallet… Between you and me, Mr Speaker, it’s ok to play that my mallet is bigger than yours with your beer drinking buddies, or at a sporting event. But the other day in front of all America, you handed your over sized mallet. Ta boot by a petite woman. Looks a little like that’s wholly over compensating for some small issue. See, out of the gate, you have a few things over the last Speaker; you’re a man, so you, by default, have bigger parts.


The only thing you need to worry about is making sure you end up with bigger accomplishments, ’cause otherwise that will be embarrassing, ’cause that’s an area you don’t want to come up short in.

Either way, Boehner and the plan for America is well on its way. Or is it? Remember, Republicans, it’s only a plan if it’s clear, set in stone, and executed; by the way, decide which definition of EXECUTE you all use.

So, happy hunting to you Mr Boehner. You take your mallet and get yourself some mallards, (Dem ducks) and be sure not to smash your finger in the process. I have to say, I ain’t never seen anyone successfully hunt birds with a hammer, cows maybe…

If you need moral support, remember, keep to the “Plan for America”, you have the morals and we will give you the support. Flip flop and we will treat you like a fish and throw you back because you’re too small.

Ps. Although you and the freshmen have some friends on the hill, and since you are new to this post; it would serve you and the country if you stop pointing your finger at the President. My mother always said, “Don’t point that thing, it has a nail in it!” Unless you are going to use that nail and that mallet to build a better America, try not to drive it into the Democrat’s heart.

Your friend, Will

Will Roberts is a trick roper and cowboy humorist, who pays tribute to Will Rogers, America’s cowboy, with a wit as quick as his rope. Will is a syndicated political cartoonist and was recently the trick-roping cowboy at Cirque du Soleil.

Will has covered the Republican National Convention, Democrat events and the McCain-Obama debates. At home in front of or behind the camera, in front of or behind a radio microphone, Will reports what he sees, usually with a twist of humor.