What’s Next For WWE and the PG Rating?

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Now that former WWE CEO Linda McMahon has lost miserably in the Connecticut Senate race – what’s next for WWE? Is the PG era over?

I wish we were so lucky. First, there’s something I need to get off my chest, seeing as how Vince wants to hear the voices of the fans.

In my opinion, Vince McMahon dug Linda’s grave by starting the “Stand Up For WWE” campaign just three weeks prior to the election. That particular campaign, which is still going strong, calls on fans to stand up for WWE and valiantly dissuade all of the detractors of the company – even if most of those detractors are right, and Vince just doesn’t want to hear the truth.

Here is the part that makes me want to vomit 70 shades of green: McMahon is claiming that WWE has been “bullied.” Over and over again, he says the government is bullying him because they won’t let fans wear WWE apparel to the polling places. Surely he knows that one of his brainwashed fans wearing a WWE shirt to the voting booth indirectly campaigns for Linda, and is a blatant indicator of Vince’s corporate influence on the campaign. Vince McMahon has gone from a tough, thick-skinned promoter to a spineless, manipulative bastard over the course of… Well, his whole career. Not shockingly, the day before the elections, he posted another rant on WWE.com stating that the company is being bullied by the government, and even dragged Obama’s name into it. Simply put, Vince was trying to make Linda’s opponent Richard Blumenthal guilty by association and hoping voters would draw illogical parallels and vote for her.

Vince’s goal since Linda stated she was running for elected office was to make sure parents and politicians had nothing to use against her. So, he changed the rating of all WWE programming from TV-14 to TV-PG. His aim was to sucker enough new children and their parents who have never witnessed WWE in its TV-14 form. Never would they know about the “Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass” club, Edge and Lita’s live sex celebration, Katie Vick, or the Jim Ross colon storyline. And if ever these parents did find out, no worries for Vince, because he’s spared no expense to make sure EVERYBODY knows about how family friendly WWE is… NOW.

Where was all the fanfare about being family friendly before, Vince? Where were the campaigns and interminable pats on the back then? Nowhere to be found, because you didn’t have a wife running for office back then. You stealthily crept around a law that prohibits corporate influence of a political campaign and attempted to play the victim, disavowing all logical criticism you were given. You weren’t a very good victim in 1994 with the steroid trial – you sure as hell aren’t now.

For weeks on end, you’ve gotten employees and celebrities alike to give testimonies on how clean and obscenity-free your programming now is. You’ve posted countless entries on every social media network praising your company for every single accolade and accomplishment under the sun. All of these things just weeks before the election – you expect people to NOT notice that? Maybe the six year olds you’ve recently suckered in with Pee Wee Herman, midgets and puerile storylines are impressionable enough to fall for your pathetic schemes, but those of us with developed brains aren’t.

So, now that Linda has mercifully and rightfully lost the election in Connecticut, what is Vince’s next move in regards to the programming he manipulated and degraded courtesy of her campaign? Nothing major, if you ask me.

You see, if Vince were to just change the rating back to TV-14 and siphon the water out of the drowning product, people would know for sure that Vince changed the rating solely for her campaign and he’d have another reason to claim he’s being bullied. Vince counts on these kids because they don’t have the brains to question what he does behind the scenes – all they care about is John Cena pandering to them before bedtime. The parents won’t question it, because they have something to keep the kid occupied and restrained long enough for them to actually have a life three nights a week. Junior is happy and the parents don’t have to worry that their kid is watching indecent and crude television. So, for all of you who are angry with the rating change and are hoping for a quick vacillation – sorry, it’s just not happening.

Another reason that it won’t happen is simple enough – Vince loves money and needs to recoup the funds he blew on Linda’s campaign. As long as parents are buying their little one John Cena shirts and baseball caps, Vince is making a nice profit. Junior especially needs some merchandise if he’s being told to “stand up” for the company. As long as Vince has abysmally deep pockets, his main desire is to cash in on all of the new, pre-pubescent fans.

Now make no mistake, I hate politics. I see elections as illusions of choice and I don’t think anyone elected to office can beat back the shady corporate influence that governs this nation. It’s no secret that you have to be pretty wealthy to even be considered a top candidate, and the common man couldn’t get involved with the obligatory top two-party system. It’s a flawed game; I want no part of it. This rant has nothing to do with political bias and everything to do with seeing another shady businessman crumble at the feet of what’s right.

Face it, fans who feel ostracized by Vince’s antics – the company will be PG for a long time to come, at least long enough for people to forget about the campaign and move on. If you’re looking for a breath of the Attitude Era and need something more gripping than Pee Wee Herman and childish storylines, I can solve your dilemma in three easy letters:

T-N-A.

Sadly, TNA isn’t much better creatively but hey – at least there’s swearing and blood!

P.S. Vince, if you come across this article and think I’m bullying your company, feel free to email me!