Stocks Go Down and Americans Up Their Negative Approval of Our Government

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Now, I am about to do something that my editors tell me I should not do with my column and that is, put a time stamp on my comments. They tell me that make sure if I want my column to have a longer shelf life, I need to make sure it is “Evergreen”.

In the news industry that means; don’t date it, don’t say, today is Thanksgiving, or Lincoln’s birthday. This way I can send my stories to all my different editors and news folks with out worrying about my stuff being. . . out of date. Alright, now that I have probably aged you folks by making you read my goings on. So let’s get to work before my comments don’t even make sense to me.

Here is what is happening today: Today is the LAST presidential debate of the 2008 election. For the last time the two candidates get a chance to put words in each others mouths. The only two rules that I think they should enforce is: McCain, no wondering around the stage and if you do we will have to chain you to your chair.

Obama, no lounging in your seat, it gives us the impression that you are staring at your poll numbers, and that would make me feel relaxed if I were you too. I hear that this might be the debate that McCain pulls out the old 1…2 punch. If I were Obama I would beat McCain to the punch line and say: “I won’t talk about your scandals and you don’t talk about mine.” I say to both of you break a leg, just make sure it is your own!

The high point of this day is the low point of our economy, the stock market or what I call “The ROCK market”. The Dow is down, which why they don’t just call it the DOUGH, the DOUGH is down, is beyond me. It would make it easier for us simple folks that don’t know much about how this all works, the Wall Street that is. We understand one thing, we reach in our pockets and if something comes out we are ahead.

We still don’t really understand the whole thing about if a man (or woman) is given 700 billion dollars of our money, why aren’t we getting a certificate that has our family’s names on it. You know, so that when you all make the money back and then some, we would get a profit check?

The way things are going now, I bet most Americans would feel a little safer if you took those 700 Billion dollars and place it on a craps game in Germany. Better yet, go online and use an Internet casino, it will save you the travel cost. Hotels, meals, nice Champagne and scandals that powerful people with money tend to get entangled with.

Maybe sometime soon we can get someone that can come out on TV and really explain how this all really works, the market, in simple-er terms, really simple terms. Like you get two pretzels and we get two and we sneak your two pretzels and eat them when you are not looking. Then you starve and we become fatter . . . something like that. I don’t mean to say we are stupid about how things work on Wall Street. But if you are the experts, should we not get our advice from the folks who are holding the loot before they jump ship, jump air ship with a golden parachute.

The American public can honestly say that we have learned two things in the last year and a half that helps us understand what is going on down on Wall Street. Two words: Down and Negative. And we did not even learn them from the high rollers on Wall Street. Both of these words we have learned from our presidential candidates and the executions,(ooopps)elections they have been running. It is the platform that politicians run on.

Headlines: “The market drops DOWN -640 points and still rising”

I was crossing my fingers that it would either go past or below 666. If we hit that number the Republicans would have surely launched a political ad claiming that Obama was working with the devil.

Speaking of evil doers, looks like Dick Cheney had a visit to the hospital for a heart problem. Contrary to popular belief, he has one, a heart that is. It was not beating the way it should, it was misfiring, and that might be a first. The saddest thing about Mr. Cheney is that he can cry wolf all he wants, I just don’t think folks would listen anymore. Cry WOLF all you want Mr. Cheney as long as the next time you go hunting you cry out DUCK!

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Will Roberts is a trick roper and cowboy humorist, who pays tribute to Will Rogers, America’s cowboy, with a wit as quick as his rope. Will is a syndicated political cartoonist and was recently the trick-roping cowboy at Cirque du Soleil.

Will has covered the Republican National Convention, Democrat events and the McCain-Obama debates. At home in front of or behind the camera, in front of or behind a radio microphone, Will reports what he sees, usually with a twist of humor.