President Bush is Not a Lame Duck, He is a Damn Good Ducker!


I hope you folks don’t mind, but I am going to rant a little. I will TRY to keep this rant as short as I can. I believe that if someone goes on and on with a rant it gives them the opinion that what they are saying actually means something to folks outside themselves. I want to be clear that what I am about to do might be just for my benefit and no one else’s.

See, I have this pet peeve about people who are not thankful. You know, like when you go into a store and you greet someone and they don’t greet you back. Or someone throws trash or cigarette butts on the ground, because they think someone else will pick it up because they are entitled.

These are the types of people that may not be instrumental in changing this country, unless someone changes it for them. They will be in charge of policing the change and then giving us a progress report as to what we are doing wrong. This type of person normally is a target of my insight and humor. I normally only point out the Americans that have this type of behavior, because I live here and I figure it is our duty to watch over Mrs. Liberty and Mother Nature. I try to stay away from people in other countries because they have enough dirt on us in the past 200 years that I would probably be opening up a can of worms that I could not contain.

But this weekend it happened, “the straw that broke the camel’s back.” And I am not sure I mean that statement to have “every pun intended yet.” I will let you know in the end of my comments.

Now, I am not the first political humorist to tell you that I have made a business off of the last 8 years of President Bush’s time in office. But I do have some common interests: We are both cowboys and we both love our country. We sometimes show our love differently, however, I think that we both would stand up for what believe is right. Now I may throw jokes at some of the things that the President has done. But, I am going to make a statement and stand up for President Bush this time. This President like no other President has done before, has put his neck on the line NUMEROUS times for this country. This list is too long, but, the one thing that stands out like no other, mainly because it is not only a bad choice when it comes to diplomacy, but for financial reasons, is the war!

We are in it, paying for it and it has brought us together as a country and pulled us apart. But the only person that has not and can not ever flip flop on this decision to be in this war is President Bush. He will live with his decision and the outcome as his legacy.

So this weekend he planed a surprise visit to say hello and goodbye to the leaders of Iraq. If standing in the middle of the Middle East and talking to their press corp is not moxie and just about as high noon cowboy as you can get, I don’t know what is.

So, Bush is, from what I can see, standing alone and an Iraqi reporter takes off his shoes and proceeds to throw them at the president. First off, maybe because of all the baseball ownership he has had, I have to say “Good EYE, Mr. Bush, Good eye!” I can tell you that if this little shoe thing would have happened back a few months ago, it might have changed the elections. I for one have more respect for Mr. Bush because of his reflexes. He ducked two shoes at close range and was able to joke about it. In the entertainment business we call that group a “Bar crowd”. After this shoe thing Mr. Bush, you might just be ready for “a night at the Apollo with Sinbad” I am a little blown away at the quick reflexes you have Mr. Bush, I only wish you could have used them in some of the situations you had over the past 8 years.

So where is the rant you say, OK here we go. Am I wrong but have we been getting conformation that folks from Iraq have been quoted to say that “Americans have helped our country and have made some parts of Iraq safer.” I know we were not greeted as liberators, but come on; I listen to a lot of news. I can gather information and to me it seems like our American forces are doing some good.

Our boys and girls, moms and dads, brothers and sisters are living and DYING to help these folks have what we have; DEMOCRACY! Forget about what you believe about this war, our troops are there to help these folks. I see video reports of Iraqi citizens greeting the troops and hugging and thanking them. Then this shoe thing happens and their newspapers say that today in Iraq is “Shoe day” and the government officials are texting each other with jokes about this incident. I guess when the Iraqi folks throw their shoes at you it is a bad thing – an insult. It is because you have animal droppings and dirt on your shoes. They figure it is the best thing to show their disapproval as apposed to the method Americans use, tell you. The odd thing is everyone in Iraq thinks this shoe thrower should be released. They are treating him like he is a good person. You throw shoes at people who are trying to help you and murder people who don’t believe in your God.

I have a plan: Why don’t we just leave NOW, before Xmas. Every single American service person leaves the country and we take whatever we made or gave to you folks with us.

We have prisons to keep the bad people away from our good people. We also keep them there so they can kill each other and not us. If you all want to throw shoes at our world leaders, then we should “Get outta Dodge”. If you folks are so unhappy with the way our government has run things, then have a decent election, get a government, express your views and change what you don’t like, don’t throw shoes, it is childish. Civil folks talk things out, if they disagree they try to work things out, not throw things.

If you folks in Iraq want to throw things, how about “pitching in” to save your own country. In the meantime, if this happens again, DON’T be surprised if you throw a slipper and we throw back a cowboy boot. Want to guess which would hurt more? We don’t call them SH&T Kickers for nothing.

I am suggesting that all Americans write in and tell the President that we want a mandatory ungrateful troop withdrawal to take affect IMMEDIATELY! Plus send them an invoice for all we have done, payable in CASH or OIL.

Your friend,

“The Good Will Tour”

1-866-381-Will (9455)

Direct# 310-228-7105

Fax# 800-844-4259

“All I Know Is What Little I Read On The Internet!”

Will Roberts is a trick roper and cowboy humorist, who pays tribute to Will Rogers, America’s cowboy, with a wit as quick as his rope. Will is a syndicated political cartoonist and was recently the trick-roping cowboy at Cirque du Soleil.

Will has covered the Republican National Convention, Democrat events and the McCain-Obama debates. At home in front of or behind the camera, in front of or behind a radio microphone, Will reports what he sees, usually with a twist of humor.