Parents of the school run
Getting the kids prepared to go back to school is the most impossible mission! Here is a brief document of how I succeeded the mission to get my little brother back to school.
So, the little one is going to school tomorrow. The uniform you bought cannot be found because the little boy has hidden it to express just how unfair having to go back to school is. So you bribe him with a non-existent bar of chocolate so he can retrieve the lost items of clothing. The little one is back and he has the uniform. You ask him if he did anything to it and he replied “No.” You don’t believe him because there’s a white hand print on his grey trousers. If that’s not his hand print, then you’re Elvis!
So you wash out the stain and dry it only to realize the darn things have shrunk at least on size but it doesn’t matter you tell yourself. At least he’ll be able to advertise his new socks you bought last week. Then you realize you didn’t wash any, so you start to scream “Rest!” Now it’s time for bed but he doesn’t want to go to bed. He wants to stay up and watch a 24 hour cartoon channel. Then you think to yourself “The person who came up with the idea of a 24hr cartoon channel doesn’t have kids!”. Then you put him to bed. You collapse onto your bed into an untidy heap of an ‘over stressed adult’ and just as your eyelids fall shut, it seems the sun has risen and the little one is still in bed.
You check your watch and the time says “You need to get that little boy out of bed now!” When you do, he is dressed in his uniform and you realize your sister got him ready for you and sent him back to bed. It turns out he’s actually had breakfast which is good because you don’t have to listen to the hit single he sings every morning by the title of “I don’t like oatmeal!”
And so the 100 metres dash for school begins. Then, you thank God that his school is just around the corner because you’ve been late several times. You have actually run out of intelligent lies to feed the receptionists who love a juicy story. You are a road away and guess what? You just might make it to school on time today! No, I’ll go as far as saying you’re five minutes early and guess what? You see a mother and her little army of kids walking in the opposite direction. Then, they exclaimed, school isn’t today but tomorrow!