Man Shoots Girlfriend During Zombie Argument

By Robert Paul Reyes  

"Police in New York state said a man shot his girlfriend during a fight about whether a zombie outbreak as seen on AMC's "The Walking Dead" could actually occur.

Nassau County Detective Lt. Raymond Cote said Jared Gurman, 26, argued via text messages with his girlfriend, Jessica Gelderman, 27, just after 2:30 a.m. Monday about the possibility of a zombie apocalypse as depicted on the AMC series."

The lovebirds were arguing via text; the dude felt that a zombie apocalypse was a very real possibility while his girlfriend thought the idea was ridiculous.

The girlfriend made the big mistake of going to her lover's home to argue face-to-face. Gurman didn't even let his boo enter his apartment, and he shot her in the back.

Jessica is the crazy person, how could she miss all the signs pointing to a zombie apocalypse: The Mayan calendar, the world-wide success of K-Pop, the supremacy of Honey Boo Boo, and the domination of the Billboard charts by Illuminati puppet Nicki Minaj.

The zombie-fearing dude drove his girlfriend to the hospital, where she was treated for a shattered rib, a pierced lung and a pierced diaphragm.

Wake up people! Don't wait until your boyfriend shoots you in the back to see the light, the Apocalypse is right around the corner.

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Robert Paul Reyes is a NewsBlaze writer on Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontificating. Contact him by writing to NewsBlaze. Read more stories by Robert Paul Reyes.