Bigfoot DNA?

By Robert Paul Reyes  

"A Texas veterinarian says she and fellow genetic researchers have confirmed the existence of Bigfoot, though their findings have yet to pass peer review.

Dr. Melba S. Ketchum of Nacogdoches, founder of DNA Diagnostics Inc. in the eastern Texas town of Timpson, said she and her team spent five years on their study of purported Bigfoot hair and concluded they have confirmed the existence of a hominin hybrid species, the legendary creature commonly called Bigfoot." - UPI

For decades yahoos, primarily in the Pacific Northwest, have claimed to have seen Bigfoot. Even though there have been hundreds of sightings over the years, the only thing true believers have offered up as proof are grainy footage and suspect foot prints.

But now a Texas veterinarian claims that she has spent five years examining a purported Bigfoot hair and concluded that, Praise be Jesus, Bigfoot is real.

Nevermind that the purported Bigfoot hair may have come out of her uncle's nose, her findings have yet to be confirmed by any scientist.

I'd be afraid to take my cat to this quack, she might think it's a mountain lion and inject her with the wrong medication.

I have a hair that I believe came out of my arse, I will mail it to the good doctor, she might conclude that extraterrestrials have invaded our little blue planet.

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Robert Paul Reyes is a NewsBlaze writer on Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontificating. Contact him by writing to NewsBlaze. Read more stories by Robert Paul Reyes.