Are You a Honey Boo Boo Or a Pumpkin?
Everybody is familiar with Alana Thompson; better known as "Honey Boo Boo Child", but Alana's sister 12-year-old Lauryn Shannon, "Pumpkin" tends to get lost in the shuffle.
Lauryn doesn't have a baby with three thumbs like her oldest sister, Jessica "Chickadee" Shannon, and she doesn't compete in beauty pageants like Honey Boo Boo.
Lauryn is just a normal girl who loves her some sketti, and enjoys eating cheese balls off the floor. Lauryn's only claim to fame is that she dresses as a pumpkin every Halloween, hence her nickname.
But Lauryn is loved by her sisters Chickadee, Honey Boo Boo, and Chubbs, and by Mama and Sugar Bear.
I hope Lauryn doesn't feel any pressure to sleep with her cousin in the hopes of giving birth to a baby with a distinctive physical abnormality. Lauryn you are special just the way you are, you don't need to change anything.
Lauren is the Tito Jackson of her family, but that's OK there are a thousand and one Titos for every Honey Boo Boo.
Tito can't dance and he can't sing, if he weren't a member of the world-famous Jacksons he'd be delivering mail or emptying garbage cans.
I'm the Tito Jackson of my family, I will never be famous but I'm content living in my little pink house, and writing my pop culture essays. Once in a while I even receive an email praising my work.
I'm good, y'all.
You have to make accommodations with your lot in life, if you are a Pumpkin or a Tito, that's alright; life has a lot to offer everyone.
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Robert Paul Reyes is a NewsBlaze writer on Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontificating. Contact him by writing to NewsBlaze. Read more stories by Robert Paul Reyes.
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