Dunkin' Donuts Employee Sells More Than Just Donuts

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"Police in New Jersey said they arrested a Dunkin' Donuts worker accused of offering her services as a prostitute to customers.

Detective Sgt. Kyle Schwarzmann said the investigation, dubbed 'Extra Sugar' by police, was sparked by an 'anonymous tip' about Melissa Redmond, 29, of Mine Hill." UPI

I love Dunkin' Donuts, if it weren't for the presence of so many cops it would be paradise. Police officers make me nervous, even in a coffee shop. I'm afraid they will take exception to the way I dunk my donuts, or that they will bust me for taking too many packets of sugar.

I commend Melissa for thinking outside the box, offering your services as a prostitute in a fast food joint is an excellent idea. But why did home girl choose Dunkin' Donuts when everybody knows it's always crawling with cops?

Customers who preferred extra sugar with their donuts would hook up with Melissa in their cars in the parking lot.

Wife: You should stop going to Dunkin' Donuts every day, you're gonna get fat.

Hubby: Don't worry sugar, I get plenty of exercise.

Melissa should have conducted her extracurricular activities as a McDonald's employee. Do you want fries with that, or would you prefer a delicious side of cherry pie?

Writing this exercise is making me hungry for ... cherry pie.

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Robert Paul Reyes is a NewsBlaze writer on Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontificating. Contact him by writing to NewsBlaze.