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Albertsons Getting Rid of Self-Checkout Lanes

By Robert Paul Reyes

"One of the nation's major grocery store chains is eliminating self-checkout lanes in an effort to encourage more human contact with its customers." Read More

A blue-haired old lady who has few remaining friends or family members might crave social interaction with a grocery store checkout employee. But the only thing I want to hear from the checkout person is: Paper of plastic? I want the line to move quickly, and that will only happen if the checkout employee doesn't chat with the customers. I might discuss the state of the world or my own personal problems with a bartender, that's what he's there for, but chatty checkout employees are an abomination.

The ideal supermarket wouldn't have any human employees, it would be staffed by robots who have been programmed to keep conversation to a bare minimum. A robot isn't going to pick his nose before adjusting the fruit on a display stand, and he's not going to fart when he bends down to pick up a can that fell off a shelf.

My local Kroger has self-checkout lanes, and I am in and out of the store in just a few minutes. The self-checkout machine reminds me not to forget my money when I ask for cash back, and that's all the conversation I want to hear in a grocery store.

I urge consumers to boycott Albertsons until they re-install the self-checkout machines. You can't turn back the tide of progress, Albertsons' action is misguided and idiotic, and we should let the grocery store chain know exactly how we feel.

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Robert Paul Reyes is a NewsBlaze writer on Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontificating. Contact him by writing to NewsBlaze.