Florida Marlins' Manager Jack McKeon Thinks Twitter is a Dog

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Many baseball fans were bewildered by the decision of the Florida Marlins to hire 80-freaking-year-old Jack McKeon as their new manager. Fans wondered if McKeon could survive a three-hour game without soiling his diapers. Crying isn't allowed in baseball, and neither are droopy drawers.

How can an octogenarian with failing vision contest an umpire's call when he can't even see his own feet without the help of binoculars? How can the old goat relate to his young players? Maybe that won't be a problem because McKeon is on his second childhood. Will the old fool need to take a nap during the 7th inning stretch? How can the old coot compete in the digital age when he doesn't know Twitter from his Johnson?

One of McKeon's young players, Logan Morrison, recently posted this message on Twitter:

Jack McKeon asked what I had going on tonight. Told him I was going to play w/Twitter. He replied 'oh, what kind of dog is it?

Maybe Morrison was kidding, maybe not, but what isn't in dispute is that McKeon is simply too old to be a manager.

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Robert Paul Reyes is a NewsBlaze writer on Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontificating. Contact him by writing to NewsBlaze.