Daily News header

Are You Addicted to Starbucks?

By

The 90's had Cheers style bars where everyone knew your name; the 2000's have Starbucks where everyone knows your Venti No Foam No Whip Double Mocha Skim Frappuccino.

How did Bucks convince America that Happy Hour should be wired not wasted and that they have a Macchiato deficiency that requires five dollars and 500 calories a day to treat? Are the sleeping pills Ambien and Lunesta lucky beneficiaries or was some kind of quid pro quo arranged?

Power Apron Jobs

In the 90's "power apron" jobs like Starbucks and Kinko's were hot because they offered health coverage and tuition reimbursement. Unlike bar jobs, you didn't have to sweep up cigarette butts and worse. But six months after a Bucks tour, most baristas say "espresso drunks" are worse than their tavern counterparts because they don't tip, get mellow, leave change on the counter or know any Irishman jokes. Worse, if baristas are short-tempered with them, they will remember the next day.

Size Lies

tatooREV

Who would have thought in the days of Mr. Coffee makers and taking the thermos to work, that one day people would drink an entire pint of coffee at one sitting? Without suffering an arrhythmia? From "tall" which means small, to "grande" which is an actual pint (see brandy, motor oil, I.V.s), no one can accuse Starbucks of under-serving patrons. Meanwhile, patrons ask for "room" in the cup but not in their stomach.

Driving While Cranked

Is it a coincidence that road rage debuted at the same time as 300 mg caffeine drinks? Maybe instead of Hang Up and Drive, bumper stickers should say Detox and Drive. Not only do today's Cherokees, Navigators and Pathfinders have a place for you to set your Venti No Foam No Whip Double Mocha Skim Frappuccino (while you're talking on your cell) - Starbucks have a place for the Cherokees, Navigators and Pathfinders! Just follow the fumes you see as they idle at drive-through Starbucks, under a toxic plume.

No Kids; No Gray Hair

Starbucks has been accused of gentrifying because the very young or very old are conspicuously absent. Kids are absent because they don't drink coffee (hopefully), their parents would be in deep doo-doo if they broke the $229 ceramic coffee bean grinder and, with three tables, where are you going put the stroller? Seniors are absent because which budget does the $7.50 for a pastry and drink come out of - food or gas? Of course there are some gray heads on the other side of the Starbucks counter, bowed less with old age than the humility of accepting such a "second career."

Loitering With No Intent To Buy

At first Starbucks welcomed laptoppers glued to YouTube or editing their friends list. They made the coffee shops look full and cool. But after a while, cyber squatters - who used as much electricity as they spent on their Ethiopian blend and never seemed to have anywhere (non-virtual) to go - began to affect the bottom line. Worse, their lack of a life was accentuated when they would schedule job interviews in their Starbucks' "office" and declare that they want to "utilize" their communication skills while other patrons try not to laugh.

The Pause that Fattens

Because of the caffeine, sugar and java jolt, many think of Starbucks as a fitness aid and have a coffee drink before, during or after their workout. But at 200 to 600 calories - not counting the scone - the "energy" a Bucks' beverage imparts doesn't work off its own calories, even after a hour on the treadmill. Plus you will end up addicted to the gym - and Starbucks.

Martha Rosenberg is a columnist and cartoonist, who writes about public health. Martha Rosenberg's first book, tentatively titled Born with a Fritos Deficiency: How Flaks, Quacks and Hacks Pimp the Public Health, will be published by Prometheus Books next year.

  Please leave a comment here     If it does not display within 10 seconds, please refresh the page

Related Health News News

There are two stories here, really, because the virus outbreak in Liberia and Guinea may be contained, or there may be another ecological disaster going on under everyone's noses.
The word bullying has significant meaning and is gaining traction by the minute as its effects are being felt worldwide.
That is no doubt why in February the Obama administration sought to limit the 'protected status' of expensive categories of brand name pills which account for as much as 33 percent of total outpatient drug spending under Part D of Medicare.
Shannon K. Rose reports that a blistering new book proves that the Obamacare 'Ponzi Scheme' is a prescription for disaster
Famous People with ADHD: Are You One Waiting to Happen? hits the shelves and Shannon K. Rose says it is surprising how many there are.
A new research done by the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation (IHME), at the University of Washington, indicates that globally the total development assistance for health (DAH) hit an all-time high of $31.3 billion in 2013

 

NewsBlaze Writers Of The Month



Popular Stories This Month

newsletter logo

NewsBlaze
Copyright © 2004-2014 NewsBlaze Pty. Ltd.
Use of this website is subject to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy  | DMCA Notice               Press Room   |    Visit NewsBlaze Mobile Site