One-Legged Thief Fails to Outrun Cops

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"Police in New York said a one-legged man was easy to find and arrest after he allegedly stole a smartphone from a woman trying to do him a good turn.

Jamal Enoe, 33, was apprehended Thursday near the scene of the alleged crime, a Brooklyn Laundromat, the New York Daily News reported. An alleged accomplice was also charged." UPI

A successful theft or burglary requires a criminal who can make a quick getaway, and who is able to blend in with the crowd.

Jamal must be missing a leg and a brain; he should realize he doesn't have what it takes to be a thief. I'm all for a disabled person being all he can be, but there's no way homeboy can make a quick getaway, and of course he sticks out like a sore thumb.

The one-legged bandit stole Marlene Ramos' cell phone while she was getting change for him. Marlene must have looked at Enoe's missing leg, and felt pity on him. If she had taken a good luck at his hardened face, she never would have let go of her smartphone.

Hopalong Cassidy was arrested a few feet away from the scene of the crime. An idiot like him wouldn't have been able to figure out how to operate a smartphone anyway.

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Robert Paul Reyes is a NewsBlaze writer on Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontificating. Contact him by writing to NewsBlaze.