The Ten Modern Inalienable Human Rights

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Philosophical musings of Chic Hollis

In random order:

1.) Instant gratification. (Careful, this is the first step on the long winding road in the constant pursuit of happiness.)

2.) Respect. (After all, aren't Americans the favored Children of God, not lowly grasshopper pests, beasts of burden, barnyard fowl, fish bait, and parasitic lampreys?)

3.) Fairness. (Not limited human and divine justice, but impartial blindfolded justice that hands out those equitable Solomonic verdicts.)

4.) Success. (On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 would be acceptable!)

5.) Freedom. (To tell everyone else what they should do, how they should do it, where they should do it, and when.)

6.) Wisdom. (The mental ability to determine "right" from "wrong" and logically choose to do whatever pleases you.)

7.) Good health. (Without which success, wisdom, and all the other inalienable rights cannot be appreciated.)

8.) Luck. (Or good fortune as you would subjectively define "good.")

9.) Eternal life. (Assisted by organ transplants, stem-cell driven cures for all our ailments, computer-aided vision, hearing, and sensing, robotic wheelchairs, and an open-ended line of credit with zero percent APR to cover the medical and dental expenses involved.)

10.) Adventure. (Whatever gets the internal juices flowing. The sine qua non which keeps eternal life from becoming boring!)

Chic Hollis lived on four continents, speaks seven languages and had five children, all of which helped him gain a unique perspective on life.