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How to Live Single in a Married World

By Sian Bitner

In a day in age when more marriages end in divorce than in "Happily Ever After", why is it still so hard to just stay single?

By this, I don't mean why are so many people running off to get married, but instead I mean why is it, that the small population who isn't married is always criticized and bombarded by unnecessary questions from those who are?

Every person who is single has had to endure it. Whether it's the friend who insists on telling you that right person is still out there for you, or the friend who invites you to dinner only to spend the entire time talking to other people about how lonely you must be, to the friend who seems to ask everyone they know if there is anyone they can fix you up with.

In the midst of all this "helpfulness", you actually do begin to feel pathetic and lonely. You fill your own head with thoughts of negativity and even begin to ask the question, "What is wrong with me?"

Fortunately, in most cases at least, it's not you. Instead, it's only the deafening opinions of your married friends consuming your every thought.

Now, let's take a look at these married couples so eager to have you join their club. Are they truly happy? Some of them yes, beyond a shadow of a doubt were meant to be together; however, the rest only seem to get by on what they pretend is love, but is nothing more then a severe case of having just gotten too comfortable and afraid to move on.

Think about your married friends. The husbands complain of a lack of sex or that their wives never tend to their basic needs. The wives complain of beer bellies and the fact that they are no longer romanced, and are left only to take care of the children and the house.

Both claim that they no longer even know who they are or what they want, because they have no time for themselves. Does this seem like happiness to you? I think not. So then why should you be made to feel so horrible about living a life of freedom, or late nights, or sleeping in, or engaging in unforgettable sex with completely forgettable people?

Why? Because misery loves company and it's no fun to regret the decisions you've chosen to make in your life, without someone there to share the misery.

So the next time your friends try to blindly set you up, or give you the pity party face of "poor you, how lonely you must be", take a moment and smile, be kind to them and realize, you only have to endure this conversation for the next few hours. They however, have to live with the choices they've made for the rest of their lives.

Sian Bitner is a freelance writer and life coach. More of her work can be found at: sianbitner.wetpaint.com