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Only 17% Of Children Trust Dad For Advice About Bullying

Bullying a major concern for kids 

New research out today reveals that while most dads (61%) feel comfortable giving advice to their children about bullying only 1 in 5 (17%) children trust their dad’s advice on this topic. However 6 out of 10 (59%) children would trust their mum’s advice. 
 
Research conducted by Relate for Parents, a website dedicated to helping parents with their family relationships,  reveals that bullying is a major concern to over half of children (51%) surveyed, with more boys (59%) worried than girls, and this issue is ranked higher than relationships (20%), drugs (17%) and sex (11%).

The survey also reveals that 74% of children consider their mum to be a role model and 58% of children see their dad as a role model.

Lin Griffiths, Family Counsellor at Relate for Parents, said: “It’s very encouraging that dads feel comfortable talking to their children about bullying, and children are willing to seek advice.  However it is a concern that children don’t trust the advice they are hearing from their dads. Like most parents, dad’s are bound to feel protective of their children.  It is possible that the advice that some dads give - “stand up for yourself”; “tell your teacher”; “I’ll sort him/her out”; “give as good as you get”; although well meaning, could be seen as another pressure on their son or daughter. Despite this lack of trust, 58% of children still look up to their father as a role model.”

With children turning to the internet for advice on personal issues, less than one in five dads (18%) know if their children are seeking advice online, despite 74% of dads saying that they would rather their children came to them. However, with only half of dads regularly making time to talk to their children, the first step for some fathers may be for them to dedicate more time to talking with and listening to their children.

To help parents with their family relationships, Relate for Parents has launched the new Relate for Parents website, www.relateforparents.org.uk, which provides online support and expert help for parents and families.

www.relateforparents.org.uk's top five tips on giving advice to children:
- Listen to your children. Really listen to their problems and individual concerns. You might know that it’s part of teenage life to break-up with friends and have fights, but for your child it is a real experience happening to them and they will want to know you are taking them seriously.
- Be consistent in what you say and do. It sounds obvious but say what you mean and mean what you say. Children are very good at noticing when you don’t follow through on your own advice. However that doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. In fact it is good for your children to see you admit your mistakes and don’t be afraid to apologise.
- Make time. Sitting down and talking to your children shouldn’t just be reserved for the big things, if they feel they can talk to you easily about the small things, this might help when they have big concerns.  
- Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Children remember broken promises and this is something that can damage their trust in you. It is better to make no promises at all than ones you think you might break. 
- Your children will not love you less if you don’t have answers to all their difficulties. They will feel supported just by the fact that you have listened and understood their struggle.

Relate for Parents provides support and advice for more than 10,000 parents each month, including step-parents, adoptive parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents and siblings. Free and confidential online support, including live chats and email responses real life stories, videos and podcasts are also available at www.relateforparents.org.uk as well as the new and unique Family Mapping tool, which helps parents understand their situation and how they can make changes for the better.

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For further information, please contact Marie O’Connor/Sandrine Powell, Ptarmigan Bell Pottinger – Relate for Parents PR agency:
0113 237 2821/ 07769 964 993/07770 620597 or marie@ptarmiganpr.co.uk/sandrine@ptarmiganpr.co.uk

Notes to Editors
- For more information visit the new www.relateforparents.org.uk site.
- Statistics from Independent research carried out in February 2010 with parents and children aged 9-16
- Relate for Parents helps more than 10,000 parents a month.
- Relate for Parents in part of Relate, the UK’s largest provider of relationship counselling. The charity supports 150,000 people each year providing couple counselling, family counselling, counselling for young people, online counselling, sex therapy and relationship skills workshops.

Relate for Parents is funded by the Department for Children, Schools and Families as part of the Family Information Direct programme.