Amy Winehouse: From Promising New Artist To Existential Threat To England

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I have hundreds of CD's (I'm old school), my albums range from ten to fifty years old. As a pop culture critic I keep up with the music scene, but only rarely do I buy a CD from one of today's artists. Only a Norah Jones, or a Susan Boyle will inspire me to go to the record store. (It's a figure of speech, I'm not that old, I realize there aren't any record stores.)

In 2003 I bought the jazz-influenced debut CD of Amy Winehouse, and I was enthralled by her magnificent lyrics and powerful vocals. In 2006 I purchased her sophomore release "Back to Black", and I wasn't disappointed by Winehouse's reimagining of the girl group sound from the 60's.

Winehouse hasn't released any new material since 2006, she's been dabbling in crack, alcohol, and Lord only knows what else.

Winehouse has been working on a new album since forever, but she just can't seem to get her career back on track. In a couple of years the gifted chanteuse was transformed from a promising new artist to a national joke.

In America we have the terrible trio (Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears), wreaking havoc and scaring the faithful to the extent that they think that the End Times are right around the corner.

In the UK Winehouse causes as much trouble as the terrible trio, she's a homegrown terrorist undermining the very fabric of British life.

Winehouse has been videotaped doing drugs, photographed passed out drunk, and been arrested numerous times for assault.

Drastic times call for drastic measures, the British government should exile Winehouse to the International Space Station, Siberia, North Korea -- anywhere but to the United States. If Winehouse hooks up with Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears it might mean the end of America as we know it.