Dirt Bag Mark McGwire Finally Admits To Using Steroids

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Richard Simmons admits his gay. Oprah Winfrey confesses she loves patronizing all you can eat restaurants. Simon Cowell owns up to being sarcastic and rude. Sarah Palin acknowledges she's a dingbat. Amy Winehouse agrees she has a problem with drugs and alcohol. Lindsay Lohan pleads guilty to being a talentless skank. Mike Tyson declares he needs anger-management classes. Judge Judy doesn't dispute she's a (rhymes with witch). Susan Boyle concedes she's frumpy.

And Mark McGwire admits to taking steroids. Duh, it was obvious even to Stevie Wonder, that the slugger didn't develop his humongous arms by taking Flintstones vitamins.

McGwire's decision to admit using steroids was prompted by guilt or regret; he came clean only because he was hired to become hitting coach of the St. Louis Cardinals.

The lying scumbag finally confessed he used anabolic steroids throughout the '90s, including the year he broke the home run record. McGwire's admission to steroids use is too little, too late. He should have admitted to using steroids was when he appeared before a congressional hearing a few years ago.

All of McGwire's records and accomplishments are tainted, and he should be elected to the hall of fame only when hell freezes over and the Rev. Pat Robertson dons purple thongs and dirty dances with Boy George.