Suggestions for Facing the New Year after Losing a Loved One
New Year, New Hope: Suggestions for Facing the New Year after Losing a Loved OneWith the majority of the holiday spotlight directed towards Thanksgiving and Christmas, it's easy to overlook the difficulty that New Year's Eve can cause after a traumatic year. Joni Aldrich offers support and advice to those who are facing 2010 without a loved one.
Most of us look forward to the second when that famous ball drops in Times Square. After all, a new year represents a fresh start, a chance to make the changes in our lives we've been wanting, and an opportunity to put the troubles of the past behind us. All around the world, it has become tradition to close out the past twelve months with cheerful abandon and to toast the incoming year with family and friends. But what if someone close to you is seriously ill, or worse, what if you've lost a loved one during the past twelve months? Most likely, guesses Joni Aldrich, you're now facing the yearly ritual of ringing in a new year with a mixture of sadness and-quite frankly-relief that the holidays are almost over.
"Nothing is the same after losing a loved one, and as 2010 approaches, it's safe to say that you're probably not feeling the 'auld lang syne' spirit," says Aldrich. "Even if you're not feeling the holiday cheer, though, it is still possible to face the new year with the anticipation of hope."
Aldrich speaks from experience. In 2006, her husband Gordon lost his two-year battle with cancer. Her first book, The Saving of Gordon: Lifelines to W-I-N Against Cancer (Cancer Lifeline Publications, 2009, ISBN: 1439255032) tells the story of what the Aldrich family experienced while simultaneously offering valuable step-by-step advice that will give readers the tools they need to have a fighting chance against cancer. Having now completed her third book, The Losing of Gordon: A Beacon Through the Storm Called "Grief" (Cancer Lifeline Publications, 2009, ISBN: 1439264937), Aldrich tells the inspirational story of her own rebuilding through the grief process after losing her husband.
"As the final stretch of 2006 approached, I was happy to see the worst year of my life come to a close," Aldrich recalls. "The holidays in general were really rough that first year, but I was blessed to be able to look ahead to New Year's Eve and move forward with rebuilding my life. Absolutely, it was still very painful. But I tried to focus on the days and months ahead as a 'clean slate.' It was a blackboard that could be filled with possibility and hope. Sometimes it's hard to look at things like that, but it's important for your own mental and emotional well-being."
So, what does Aldrich recommend for facing New Year's Eve, either while going through a difficult time or after a traumatic year of loss? "Do whatever feels right for you. For instance, don't be coerced into going to a New Year's party, unless you really feel up to it, or unless it's a small, intimate affair with mostly family.
"True friends will understand your needs. If people push you to do otherwise, you may go and it might work out okay. However, it could also be a very difficult and depressing evening, especially if you've lost a spouse. You're walking a fine line. While it's not good to be all alone, the overwhelming atmosphere of gaiety at most New Year's parties can assault your ailing spirits."
If you are looking for some guidance as this year's holiday season draws to a close, read on for some suggestions that will help you navigate New Year's Eve:
On the DO list:
On the DO NOT list:
"Finally," Aldrich says, "try to focus on all of the good years you've had in the past, and not on the bad year that just went by. Life is always a combination of good and bad. We should all appreciate the good, and know that when bad things happen in our lives we still need to move forward. You have two choices-face the New Year with hope, or dwell on difficult life experiences that you cannot change. But if you feel that you need help to get through the next few weeks, it's okay to ask for help and support."
About the Author:
Joni James Aldrich believes that she has been preparing to write The Saving of Gordon and The Losing of Gordon for most of her life. As a child, she was a better than average student. She wrote dramatic poetry. Before college, she worked at a newspaper. In her professional career, she has worked in analysis, documentation, communications, and public speaking. She has also been able to incorporate her love of photography into the design of her books. She feels it is her destiny to relay this true story to readers in a way that will help them in their own difficult trials.
Joni is also the author of The Cancer Patient W-I-N Book: Our Cancer Fight Journal.
The Saving of Gordon: Lifelines to W-I-N Against Cancer (Cancer Lifeline Publications, 2009, ISBN: 1439255032) and The Losing of Gordon: A Beacon Through the Storm Called "Grief" (Cancer Lifeline Publications, 2009, ISBN: 978-1439264935, $15.95) are available at bookstores nationwide and from major online booksellers.
* For a review copy of one of her books or an interview with Joni Aldrich, please contact Dottie DeHart, DeHart & Company Public Relations, at (828) 325-4966.
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