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7 Ways to Make Your Child More Successful at School

"Straight A" Parenting: Seven Surprising Solutions That Will Boost Kids' School Success (And Won't Cost You a Penny!)

We are living in a fast-paced world that is constantly changing and evolving. Those who can't keep up get left behind in the dust of others who can. If you're a parent, this scary reality is just one more thing to worry about. You want to make sure your own kids are equipped with the tools they need to be successful in life. And you're all too aware that the process begins at a young age--and centers on how well children can perform in the classroom.

That's right. Academic success impacts our children for the rest of their lives: it influences their self-esteem, college selections, job attainment, financial success, and even their choice of spouses. It's no wonder we go to great lengths to give our kids an academic edge. But the good news, says parenting expert and educational psychologist Michele Borba, is that parents can give their kids the edge they need without the help of elite preschools, expensive tutors, or pricey evaluations.

"Despite their good intentions, parents often overlook a few simple strategies that research has proven to impact children's academic success," says Borba, author of the new book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries (Jossey-Bass/A Wiley Imprint, September 2009, ISBN: 0787988316). "Even better, these seven science-backed solutions are things that every parent can do, they don't cost a dime, and they are proven to boost children's school success."

So what are these sure-fire methods for boosting your kids' learning potential? Read on for seven surprising simply solutions that every parent should have in his or her toolbox this school year:

Make sure your kids are getting enough zzz's (It will help them master those ABC's!). For busy parents, sleep deprivation is simply a way of life. But are your kids getting enough sleep each night? While 90 percent of parents believe the answer is yes, studies show that about one-third of those kids are actually sleep-deprived. And lack of sleep can have a serious impact on children's abilities to learn and perform at school. In fact, in one recent study, Tel Aviv University researchers found that missing just one hour of sleep can be enough to reduce a child's cognitive abilities by almost two years the next day. For example, a sixth grader who loses precious zzz's the night before a big test could end up performing at a fourth grade level.

"Setting and keeping to a nighttime routine is the key," explains Borba. "Set a bedtime and keep to it every single night. Flashing images affect REM, so be sure to turn off the computer and television at least 30 minutes prior to bedtime. Take away the cell phones during nighttime hours--62 percent of kids admit that they use it after the lights go out and their parents are clueless. And most importantly, watch out for caffeinated sleep stealers like cold medications, chocolate, or energy drinks. Once you make the nighttime routine a habit, you can be confident that your kids are getting the rest they need to perform to their potential at school."

Applaud their efforts the right way. Sure, you give your kids plenty of encouragement throughout the school year. But Borba says that it's the way you encourage them that impacts their success over the long term. Columbia University researchers found that how we praise our kids' schoolwork can actually enhance or impede their achievement. For example, instead of encouraging your child to bring home straight A's, put the emphasis on how hard she is working. This will encourage her to persist, and it will help to sustain her motivation. Kids who are praised for their persistence are more likely to blame any failure they have on not trying hard enough, rather than on a lack of ability (a belief that can discourage kids very easily). Above all, keep in mind that the grade is not what motivates a top student to succeed--it's her drive for learning.

"Praise your child's effort, not his IQ," Borba asserts. "Children who come to believe that their success in school is predetermined by inherent intelligence and not by the effort they put into it are less willing to take risks and work harder, and they have a much tougher time handling any setbacks. Cheer them on by saying things like, 'I'm so proud of how hard you're working at school' rather than praising their intelligence: 'You are so smart!' Simply adding the word 'because' to your praise makes it more specific, and your child will know exactly what he did right--which makes him more likely to repeat the action. Stress your child's effort, not the grade or test score, and you'll encourage him to be a motivated, hard-working, high-achieving student."

Respect their learning style. If your son insists on plugging into his iPod when he studies, or if your daughter swears that flash cards are the only way she can learn her spelling words--listen up! While you may prefer a quiet room with no distractions when it comes to getting work done, that doesn't mean it's the best way for your kids to concentrate and get down to business. Harvard researcher Howard Gardner's work shows that there are eight kinds of intelligences--or ways kids learn best--which include: musical, spatial, logical-mathematical, linguistic, bodily, intrapersonal, interpersonal, and naturalist. The trick, Borba says, is to pay attention to your kids so you can identify which type they are and tap into that learning style in order to help them be more successful.

"Help your child identify how he learns best, then find ways to use those strengths to boost learning success," suggests Borba. "Asking him some simple questions can help to give you clues as to what kind of learning style works best for him. Even better, as his parent, you probably already know the answer if you just think about it. All those little tricks that he has devised for himself along the way are probably nuances that you have noticed before but didn't pay attention to. The trick here is to respect his learning style--whether it means needing background noise, color-coding spelling words, or needing to see and touch the things he is learning about. You may be surprised at how quickly he'll excel when he's allowed to learn things in his own way."

Pay attention to their peers. Pals play an enormous part in shaping our kids' self-esteem, and research also reveals that whom our kids befriend can affect their study habits and their overall academic success. The truth of the matter is that peer pressure can have both positive and negative consequences on a child's education. If your child chooses friends who believe that education is important, chances are she will adopt those attitudes and put more emphasis on hitting the books harder and focusing more in class. On the flip side, if your child is best buddies with a kid who stays distracted during class, doesn't turn in homework assignments, and rarely studies before a big test, chances are she will fall in line with her friend's bad habits.

"Its important to pay attention to the study habits and education values of your child's friends to ensure that she is surrounding herself with peers who will set her up for success," Borba asserts. "Make your home a kid-friendly hangout so that you can become familiar with your child's friends. Help your child find friends with similar interests by getting her involved in extracurricular activities and clubs that will introduce her to like-minded pals. While younger kids choose their friends based on accessibility, older kids tend to choose friends based on similar values and interests. It's your job as a parent to set the standard for what those values and interests are.

"Oh, and one more interesting tidbit," Borba adds. "One study from Ohio State University found that kids are more likely to have friends with future college plans if they have a warm, positive relationship with their parents. So cultivate that kind of parenting style, and you'll help your child make the right friendship decisions!"

Make family meals a must. With busy after-school schedules and varying palates, it can be a daunting task to commit to a sit-down meal with your family on weeknights. If Timmy has soccer practice, you have PTA, and only half your kids will eat the meatloaf on tonight's menu, you may be tempted to forgo the nightly meal and let everyone fend for themselves. But Borba says to think twice before passing out the take-out menus: A recent study by Columbia University showed that kids whose families eat regular, relaxed meals together are not only less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol and develop eating disorders, they are also more likely to achieve higher grades.

"Family dinners do not have to consist of gourmet, five-course meals," asserts Borba. "Serve simple, healthy meals, turn off the television and unplug the phone, and enjoy each other's company. It doesn't have to be complicated. And if everyone in your family is on a different schedule and can't make it to dinner--don't worry! Consider instating an evening family snack time during which everyone can review their days with each other before bedtime. The trick is to find what works best for you family and turn it into a routine."

Squelch the stress...at home. Today's kids are facing more pressure than ever. They're growing up faster and having to face issues at a much younger age--not to mention peer pressure and the added stress related to making good grades and achieving high test scores. But Borba says that the stress that curbs kids' learning potential is coming from a place you may not have considered before: your home. Research shows that the conflict kids face at home spills over into their school life and impedes their learning. In fact, family-induced stress can affect kids' learning and behavior for up to two days following an incident.

"I like to tell families to take a vow of 'yellibacy'," says Borba. "Make your home a stress-free zone. Rather than devoting your evenings at home to sibling squabbles and dinnertime debates, find ways to de-stress with your kids. Take longs walks, read together, do yoga, or have a family movie night. Be a model to them on how to disagree without the converation ending in a screaming match--and never engage with a screamer. Teach your kids that it's okay for them to walk away from an argument until they are calm enough to return. Once you learn how to tune into your child's stress signs, you'll be able to recognize when he's on overload so that you can intervene and help him to decompress before something comes to blows."

Tailor expectations to your child's abilities. All parents want the very best for their kids. It's only natural! But if you think that your Ivy League aspirations are your child's only chance for success, Borba says its time to think about lowering your expectations. A survey by executive recruiter Spencer Stuart found that only 10 percent of CEOs steering Fortune 500 companies received an undergrad diploma from one of the pricey Ivey League schools. In fact, a Wall Street Journal review discovered that more than half of the CEOs of the 50 largest companies in the United States graduated from public colleges or universities.

"There's an important lesson to be learned here," explains Borba. "As a parent, you should consider your learning aspirations for your child to be a rubber band: gently stretch, but don't snap. Every child is different, and while it's okay to encourage them to try hard and achieve their best, it's also important to remember that 'the best' is different for every child. Just because your kid isn't composing his own symphonies or writing his memoirs by age 10, it doesn't mean that he won't still do great things with his life. Always remember this one commandment: 'Tailor thy parenting only to thy child.' You and your children will be happier and healthier for it.

Notice a common denominator? That's right: none of these tips require you to take out a second mortgage or get a second job. What they do require is your time, attention, and engagement.

"If you want to boost your kid's academic performance and see lasting results, it will take a few things from you: consistency, dedication, and patience," concludes Borba. "Those things are always better parenting tools than anything money can buy. And remember that no two kids are the same, even if they come from the same household. If you pay attention to the individual needs of each child and do what's right for them and for you, you'll see the payoff in their attitudes and their report cards in no time."

About the Author:

Michele Borba, Ed.D., is an educational psychologist, former teacher, and mom. She is recognized for offering research-driven advice culled from a career of working with over one million parents, educators, and children. A frequent Today show contributor and recipient of the National Educator Award, Michele is the author of 22 books including Building Moral Intelligence, No More Misbehavin', and her latest release, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries. She also appears on Dr. Phil, The View, CNN American Morning, and The Early Show, and has been featured in numerous publications, including U.S. News & World Report, The Chicago Tribune, Redbook, Family Circle, Parenting, and Child. She is an advisory board member for Parents magazine, and she writes the blog "Parenting Solutions" for NBC's iVillage.

For more information, visit www.micheleborba.com.

About the Book:

The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries (Jossey-Bass/A Wiley Imprint, September 2009, ISBN: 0787988316) is available at bookstores nationwide and from major online booksellers.

For an interview with Michele Borba or a review copy of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions, please contact Dottie DeHart, DeHart & Company Public Relations, at (828) 325-4966.