Mackenzie Phillips: "Daddy's Partner" for Years

I find it disgusting that when so many people, her own sister, Chynna included have come out to verify the truth of Mackenzie Phillips against the wishes of Michelle Phillips. Denny Doherty's daughter made a statement that her father had told her John Phillips, himself told him about his relationship with Mackenzie.

That being said, I have been a Masters level addictions Professional as well as a Social worker for Child protective Services, NCIS and private practice for 20 years. In my experience when dealing with cases of child sexual exploitation, there are 3 things in common:

1) Secrecy - The victim is afraid to fragment their family, when they tentatively approach the subject they are very quickly "hushed up" by other family members who want to protect the family image.

2) The victim ALWAYS feels as if they have done something wrong and are helpless to stop the ongoing abuse.

3) In the case of drug use....why is it we all love Heath Ledger? We see him as "tragic" even brilliant because no one knew about his addictions, when the truth is he was a doctor shopping addict.

Robert Downey Junior is seen as tragic because his father supplied him with drugs, but celebrated now because there was no sexual component. Until he crawled in bed with a neighboring 12 year old boy in a state of blackout he was not forced to get help.

Michael Jackson is seen as "tortured" for his clearly inappropriate behavior with children. Can you say "Jesus Juice"? He was supposedly "murdered? No, he was an addict who overdosed, just an addict that could afford a doctor who would supply him with anything.

Rush Limbaugh? He destroyed his hearing with his oxycotin addiction but has never served a day for his illegal activities and is in fact worshipped by those that listen to his show. Who in their right mind destroys their own hearing? My point?

Long term drug addicts are irrational. They frequently hurt everyone around them. Bijou Phillips, (youngest sister of Mackenzie) was in foster care until 3rd grade because her parents were deemed "unfit"; she developed addiction problems of her own.

I have walked into homes and removed children that have been groomed to be "daddy's partner" for years. Wealthy homes, poor homes, homes with drugs. Depending on the child's willingness to speak, and the unlikelihood of physical signs, sexual abuse is very hard to prove. Sometimes even when there IS physical evidence it is hard to prove. Only by teaching victims that it is imperative to SPEAK OUT, will this hideous practice stop.

Mackenzie spoke out now, because SHE TOLD HER STORY NOW. For the first time in 49 years she felt brave enough not to carry this burden by herself and to use her tragic childhood to try to help others. Victims speak when they are ready too; some carry it to their grave tortured by demons of guilt, rage and self loathing.

Please read the following facts and just because something makes you uncomfortable or you find something distasteful, do not deny victims the right everyone has denied them: Honesty, help and Healing.

News reports continue to discuss the incest abuse of Mackenzie Phillips by her father, while some family denies it happened and others agree it did. Comments from viewers online sometimes question why Ms. Phillips is coming forward now.

What is the true story? We may never know, but there are myths and facts about incest, which could help us understand Mackenzie Phillips' recent disclosure.

Myth 1: We pretty much know the extent of incest in our society.

Facts: Studies conclude that 43 percent of children who are abused are abused by family members, and incest has been cited as the most common form of child abuse. Although estimates show 20 million or more Americans have been victimized by parent incest as children, incest remains one of the most under-reported and least discussed crimes in our national. It is often concealed by the victim because of guilt, shame, fear, social and familial pressure, as well as coercion by the abuser.

Myth 2: Incest often involves physical force or violence.

Facts: Verbal or implied threats are more often used by the abuser to ensure the child's silence and compliance, such as how telling will break up the family and end the special father-daughter relationship." Shame or blame may also be used by the abuser. In a family where support and affection are lacking, the opportunity to have a special sexual relationship with one's father may be very appealing.

Myth 3: If someone is incested, they should be able to deal with it and get on with their life.

Facts: Incest is a particularly damaging form of sexual abuse because it is perpetrated by individuals upon whom the victim trusts and depends. The abuser may also threaten to harm himself, the family, family pets, or valued possessions if the incest is revealed or terminated. A child abused by a stranger can run home for help and support. An incested child cannot. Besides the lack of support at home, pressure to keep silent is powerful as fear of the family breaking up can be overwhelming to other family members.

Myth 4: Women who have been incested should have told someone at the time they were abused.

Facts: Some recent research suggests that some victims of incest may suffer from biochemically-induced amnesia. In these cases, any immediate and/or latent memory of the incident is repressed and can remain so for years. It may take decades before a victim is ready to come forward with the information of their abuse. The fact that Mackenzie Phillips' disclosure encouraged others to come forward (an 83% increase in traffic at the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline since her disclosure of incest), may indicate there are many women out there who may now be ready to come forward, but may not have been ready earlier, or maybe weren't sure how to proceed.

Myth 5: Once a woman who was incested as a child gets therapy, the path to recovery is short.

Facts: Whether a one-time event or ongoing assaults over an extended period of time, the process of recovery from incest can be very painful and difficult. Incest can also have serious long-term effects on victims, such as eating disorders, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including nightmares and flashbacks. There is research indicating that children who have been sexually abused by a relative suffer from even more intense guilt and shame, low self-esteem, depression and self-destructive behavior (such as substance abuse, sexual promiscuity and prostitution) than children who have been sexually assaulted by a stranger. Low self-esteem, depression, guilt, shame, and/or substance abuse could have influenced the time Ms. Phillips chose to disclose her incest abuse.

Sources/Resources:

National Center for Victims of Crime www.ncvc.org

National Sexual Assault Online Hotline, 1-800-656-4673

Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network www.rainn.org

Elizabeth Morris