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What Up With Your Birth Certificate, Mr. Transparency?

Satire By John Lillpop

For a fellow who claims to have invented the concept of transparency in American politics and government, Barack Obama's behavior is most peculiar, especially when it comes to his birth certificate.

Obama claims that he was born in Honolulu, Hawaii on August 4, 1961, has released his birth certificate, and that the matter is closed.

Furthermore, when asked about the controversy during a recent news briefing, White House Spokesman Robert Gibbs broke down into hysterical laughter and answered by saying, "We won!"

Thanks for that professional insight, Mr. Gibbs. Campaigning to be Obama's Transparency Czar are you?

Although Barack Obama's eligibility was challenged in filings with the SCOTUS (not accepted for review), the issue has been mostly a sidebar concern given the terrible state of the economy and volatile world crises and near crises.

However, the pursuit for truth has led Joseph Farah at World Net Daily and other patriots to keep the issue alive.

As they say in sports, "It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings!" and in the case of Barack Obama's birth certificate, the fat lady weighs about 45 pounds and is just starting singing lessons.

Which means this issue is not going away just because some hillbilly press secretary says so.

Know this Mr. Gibbs: Winning an election does not render the US Constitution null and void. Just like the white dudes who preceded him, Obama is bound by the laws that form the basis for our great nation.

Remember this as well: Obama was elected president, not Messiah, King, World Citizen, Muslim Appeaser, or Apologist-in-chief.

Of course, it may turn out that there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this, and that the issue is simply overblown hyperbole crafted by right wing extremists to keep Obama from converting a free market democracy into a socialist-fascist nanny state in less than six months.

Possible explanations for Obama's birth certificate phobia include:

* His birth certificate is in Arabic, rather than Hawaiian, and includes the phrase "New Born Warrior for Allah";

* Because of a queasy stomach at birth, Obama's nickname was recorded as CHANGE, referring to the non-stop regiment of diaper duties dumped on hospital nurses.

The term also became the motto of his presidential campaign years later, but now it is We the People who are stuck with cleaning up after the One.

* Obama's birth certificate lists his mother as a virgin and his birth as a contemporary miracle of Pele, the Hawaiian Goddess of Volcanoes and other hot air.

* His birth certificate describes Obama as clean and articulate, probably a gift from Pele to the only black dude born in Honolulu that month.

My own personal opinion is that Obama was born in a Mosque in Tikrit, Iraq, also the birth place of the deposed and very dead Saddam Hussein, who until now was the most famous Tikriter ever born.

Obama's middle name (Hussein) reflects the Obama family reverence for the former Baghdad butcher.

Bottom Line: In my view, Obama owes We the People a full and complete explanation of his birth, including release of a certifiable birth certificate!

He needs to answer the question: What Up With Your Birth Certificate, Mr. Transparency President?