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Women's Health and Feelings

By Kamala Sarup

Kathmandu, Nepal - In this part of the world, millions of women often give birth to one child after another. There is no respect for women's health or feelings. For example, most women give birth before the age of 18 and want only two or three children, but they are not able to use family planning if their husbands object. Also, women do not have easy access to various types of family planning facilities.

Marriage is viewed as being intended to satisfy the husband and his family. In Nepal and India especially, husbands are under a lot of pressure to give birth to a son. Therefore, women are often put in the position of risking their health for the sake of their families.

Rajani Khadka, from Kathmandu, told me with tears in her eyes, "Since I have been married, all of my happiness has gone to water. Regarding children, I cannot make any of the decisions. I have been married for five years and I already have four daughters. My husband wants a son. Not having a son is making my life miserable, because of the wishes of my husband and his family. My husband treats me like a production machine. He has no respect or love for me at all. I hate this life of marriage." I responded by telling her, "Marriage is not a math game, about giving and taking; it is about human dignity".

Health centers in Nepal are limited, so rural women are getting nothing from them. They can hear family planning news by NGOs and INGOs on the radio, but this does not provide a proper education. A lack of policy implementation and a lack of awareness have also contributes to the problem. The majority of women living in rural areas are not getting contraceptives, so unwanted pregnancies are high in those areas.

Very slow socioeconomic development has resulted in a general deterioration of women's health. Even if rape or physical relations happen, women cannot tell their family, so they go for abortions, which have a sixty percent mortality rate. Women carry the burden of domestic responsibilities, as well as frequent pregnancies.

My friend Rajani asked, "Why can't women choose whether or not to become pregnant, and when to become pregnant?" Sons are valued over daughters in Nepal. In some villages, if a woman gives birth to a son, her husband celebrates by slaughtering a goat and having a party. However, if a daughter is born, there is no party, and the husband cuts a pumpkin while the whole family weeps. Rajani went on to tell me, "When I asked my husband if we could use birth control, he got mad at me and said he wants a son, otherwise he will be forced to marry another woman."

Women's rights includes the right to control their own fertility. The right to family planning should be a political and legal right of women. Women need to struggle for this right. They must get organized. Mass protests for women's reproductive rights can work, if done right.