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India: Wanted: Daughters

By Soma Mitra, Womens Feature Service

It had been a long and stressful journey for Saikat and Julie. They had exhausted their savings on fertility treatments only to arrive at the conclusion that they could never have children of their own. The one-line medical certificate had ruined their dreams. That was some years ago.

Dejected, the couple followed the example of their friends - who had adopted their second child - and decided to do the same. Today, Julie, 35, and Saikat Dasgupta, 40, are the proud parents of six-year-old Aishwarya. That dark moment when they were told they could never become parents is now a distant memory.

Julie and Saikat are among the several couples who have opted for adoption in the recent years. In fact, adoption has become a real trend in West Bengal and more so the adoption of girl children. According to the Annual Report 2007-2008 of the West Bengal Co-ordination Agency on Adoption, during March 2007 and March 2008, 549 children were adopted from nine accredited agencies in Bengal. Interestingly, of the 549 children adopted, 349 were girls.

"The attitude of Bengali parents is truly encouraging. It is not only the number of people adopting, but the kind of passion and involvement that the entire family shows towards bringing up a girl child that is fascinating. When couples come to us, the kind of attachment they feel for a girl child is something not seen in other parts of the country. They want to give the best possible education to their daughters. With female foeticide still rampant in parts of northern India, we are proud that West Bengal leads the country in the rising number of adoptions for the female child," says Swaran Chaudhry, Executive Director, Society for Indian Children's Welfare (SICW). During March 2007 - March 2008, 50 children were adopted from SICW and among them were 42 girls.

"We adopted a girl because it was our heartfelt wish to be able to bring up one. I really do not know the reason why we were keen to adopt a girl. May be we felt we would bond better with a daughter. Today, many parents depend more on their daughters than their sons in times of crises," reasons Julie. Adds Saikat, "Gone are the days when people used to think boys could do more than girls. Now it's the other way round. The sex of a child is no longer an issue at least in the urban scenario. Then why a girl, one may ask? Because a girl is more dependable than a boy."

During 2007 and 2008, the Indian Society for Rehabilitation of Children (ISRC), another accredited adoption agency, placed 101 children. Of these 70 were girls. Madhumita Chowdhury, who has been working as an adoption counsellor for the last two decades, explains, "I feel this has a historical background. After Partition when families came to Bengal from Bangladesh they had to start from scratch. Women sacrificed everything but they never compromised with the education of the children. If you talk to refugee families in Bengal you would realise that daughters were not deprived of education."

For a childless couple, adoption would indeed be the right thing to do - an abandoned or orphaned child gets a home and family while a couple gets a baby to care for and love as their own. But there are many challenges and more so when the adopted child is a girl. The stigma attached to adopted children remains and most Indian couples are discouraged by their families to go in for adoption.

But Boni and Jay Mukherjee faced no such opposition. In fact, their family was delighted when this high-powered couple finally decided to adopt a baby girl. The duo didn't want to waste time on long fertility treatments, so they zeroed in on adoption and everyone in their home welcomed baby Amu with open arms.

The extended family plays a very important role in making it easy for the new parents and child to adjust to each other. Unconditional love and support goes a long way, feel Boni and Jay. Amu is now three-and-half years old. "I could manage only 25 days off from my work. However, it did not upset anything at my home. From the very beginning the whole family pitched in wholeheartedly. In fact, when I was going back to work, I arranged to have an attendant take care of the baby in my absence but everyone opposed the move," recalls Boni.

According to Madhumita Roy, Director of ISRC, "The situation has truly changed in the last few years. At our agency, about 17 families are waiting to adopt a girl child. Interestingly, many couples who already have a daughter are also keen to adopt another girl." The adoption of a second child is becoming increasingly common.

When Rajat and Debjani Banerjee's six-year-old son, Anwesh, insisted that he wanted a sister, the couple decided that they would go in for adoption. Nearly a year after they had applied to an accredited adoption agency, one-year-old Disha joined their family. Recalls Debjani, "Anwesh took complete charge of his little sister and we could not send him to school for a couple of weeks." Adds Rajat, "The siblings completely adore each other. And often, people even remark that Disha looks like my wife."

Adoption figures from West Bengal indicate a positive trend. But the all India numbers could have been better. According to the Central Adoption Resource Agency (CARA), an autonomous body under the Ministry of women & Child Development, in 2007, 3,175 children were placed in adoption through recognised Indian placement agencies (this number includes 2405 in-country adoptions and 770 inter-country adoptions).

As the saying goes, what Bengal does today, India does tomorrow. Let's hope this will hold good for adoptions as well.

BOX:

BRINGING HOME A BABY

Here is a look at the adoption procedure followed by accredited agencies:

1. Prospective parents have to fill up an application with information such as their age and why they want to adopt. With this they need a medical certificate, a fitness certificate, their photographs, address proof, income proof, property declaration, a declaration by a close relative ready to accept the responsibility of the child if both the parents are deceased. Also, Prospective parents can mention the sex of the child they want to adopt.

2. If the prospective parents have any biological child/children, they need to provide details. They also have to give a declaration in court saying that the adopted child will get the same share of the property.

3. Once the paper work is complete, the agency conducts a home study. A representative of the agency comes to the couple's home and to talk to the members of the family as well as the extended family. This is very crucial stage. If home study report is not satisfactory then application is rejected.

3. Once the home study is over, the couple gets to meet the child selected as per the application. If the couple doesn't want to adopt that particular child then they are shown two more children. Agencies generally try to match the child with either mother or father, appearance-wise.

4. Once a child is placed, then parents need to submit half-yearly report to the agency.

Womens Feature Service covers developmental, political, social and economic issues in India and around the globe. To get these articles for your publication, contact WFS at the www.wfsnews.org website.