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Mom-in-Chief: 5 Lessons Mothers Can Learn from the First Lady

Michelle Obama has stated that while Barack works to tackle the nation's problems, she will serve as "mom-in-chief" to their daughters. Jamie Woolf, author of the coincidentally titled book Mom-in-Chief, explores what all moms can learn from the new first lady's approach to leadership.

Since January 20th, President Barack Obama has been hard at work doing his part to help the nation get back on its feet. And while the Presidency likely means a dream come true and a lot of hard work for him, for his family it means he's off the campaign trail (at least for a while!) and back at the dinner table. That's right. The Obamas have a family life, too! And while you may not be discussing national security and the Secret Service as you pass the mashed potatoes each night, you are still facing many of the same challenges as the other head of the first family, our nation's new first lady and mom-in-chief, Michelle Obama.

"Michelle Obama is the epitome of today's professional woman," says Jamie Woolf, author of Mom-in-Chief: How Wisdom from the Workplace Can Save Your Family from Chaos (Jossey-Bass/A Wiley Imprint, February 2009, ISBN: 0470381310, $22.95). "As a high-powered lawyer and executive administrator, she has never wavered in her commitment to her family. Just like other moms across the country, she has always worked hard at home to ensure that her daughters' upbringing never suffers despite having two parents with high-powered careers."

Now Obama is stepping into her self-proclaimed role as "mom-in-chief"-a phrase that, understandably, delights Woolf-having publicly stated that parenting Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7, will be her top priority in this first year of transition. Still, she intends to use her new platform as first lady to be an advocate for issues that help us all to put our children first-which will definitely make her a working mother. (Her work/family juggling act continues!)

"I am always on the lookout for good parenting role models," says Woolf, whose book helps moms use "best practices" from the workplace to make family life run more smoothly. "Great leaders can be great mothers if they know how to integrate the skills they learn from their professional roles into their family responsibilities...it seems clear to me that the matriarch of the new first family has figured out how one informs the other."
Here are five lessons in leadership that mothers from all walks of life can learn from the nation's new mom-in-chief:

Being good at your job can make you a better parent. At the end of a long workday, most of us are eager to leave our professional lives at the office. However, says Woolf, the most effective parents are the ones who don't. In her career in law and public service, Obama has no doubt perfected many of the same skills she'll use in her role as mom-in-chief, including conflict resolution, communication, multi-tasking, time management, crisis management, and team building.

"Like the best business leaders, the most effective parents inspire without pushing their own agenda, nurture without micromanaging, encourage without creating over-the-top pressure, and expect the best without ignoring the inevitability of failure and the joy of learning from mistakes," says Woolf. "Learning to tap into your professional skill set at home will allow you to be a well-rounded mother."

Motherhood IS a leadership job. By calling herself "mom-in-chief," Obama sends a strong message that being a mom means being a leader, an attribute that mothers often overlook in their parenting roles. By celebrating her position rather than apologizing for it, she connects the notion of leadership beyond the walls of corporate suites and presidential mansions to the homes of average parents.

"The best leaders, like the best parents, strive to provide the proper conditions in which others can grow and reach their highest aspirations," explains Woolf. "Once you can begin to think of motherhood as not only a job, but a leadership job, you will be more apt to apply the skills and techniques you use in the workplace more effectively at home."

Focus on the big picture. Admittedly, this advice can seem vague and perhaps a little overwhelming. We all know how easy it can be to get caught up in the relentless day-to-day scurry of soccer practice, doctor appointments, and packing lunches and forget about the more meaningful goals that we have set for ourselves as parents. Obama is surely no exception to the motherhood mayhem. With two young children and a puppy to corral, and state dinners and sleepovers to host, the first lady will face relentless demands on her time and patience. The trick for her, and for all of us, says Woolf, is making a point to stop and refocus throughout the day so we don't lose sight of what's important.

"Effective leaders keep their eye on the long view, looking beyond the task at hand to the greater purpose," she asserts. "By articulating her big picture goal-to put her kids' needs above other obligations-Obama is more likely to avoid getting bogged down in endless niggling details. She understands what all great leaders understand: that her actions and choices today have long-term effects."

It's okay to delegate. Obama has at times been the major breadwinner in her family-she was vice-president of community affairs at the University of Chicago Medical Center before she took a leave to join her husband on the campaign trail-and she knows intimately the juggling act working mothers perform every day. No wonder she plans to use her platform as first lady to advocate for policies such as family leave, childcare access, and better healthcare-the issues that allow women to better balance work and family life. In the meantime, however, we need to call on our own support systems...the other people who live under our roof.

"Don't be afraid to delegate tasks to your children and your husband," says Woolf. "It's amazing how many women try to work full-time jobs and also bear the full burden of household chores. The Obamas have stated that their daughters will pick up the dog poop on the White House lawn and continue to do their chores. Sharing the responsibilities will make your family unit more efficient while teaching your children valuable life skills. As a bonus, you'll find you suddenly have more time for fun things like family movie nights and playing outside together."

Taking care of you should be a priority, not a luxury. With bills to be paid, dinner to be cooked, and homework to be done, it's hard to imagine finding another second in the day to get things done-let alone to do something like (gasp!) take a bubble bath. With our endlessly competing priorities, taking care of ourselves is often the first thing to go in our lives as parents. Many mothers say making time for exercise, let alone a manicure, feels indulgent. Obama has made it clear that being an effective mom-in-chief means finding the time to rejuvenate. And when we respect ourselves, we model an important lesson for our children. "Hey, we're the only ones who can take care of ourselves," she told Ebony magazine, "and it makes us better lawyers, better mothers."

"Good leaders keep perspective," says Woolf. "Just like a vacation from work can refresh our minds and rejuvenate our sense of motivation, taking time away from sibling squabbles and Dora the Explorer will make us better mothers in the long run. If we don't take care of ourselves, we can't take care of our families to our full potential. By cheating ourselves, we end up cheating our children too.

"This year is sure to bring lots of new challenges for the Obama family, but they have the professional experience and family values that set them up for parenting success," says Woolf. "While Barack is running the country, Michelle will be running the show at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, and no doubt doing it well.

"The best news is that most mothers-whether we receive a check for our work or not-possess the skill set to be a superb mom-in-chief too," she adds. "Simply by tapping into and honing our inherent leadership skills, we can create a happy, thriving, productive 'first family' of our own."

About the Author: Jamie Woolf is a regular contributor to Working Mother magazine and founder of The Parent Leader and Pinehurst Consulting, an organization development consulting firm. In her book, Mom-in-Chief: How Wisdom from the Workplace Can Save Your Family from Chaos, Woolf addresses real-life quandaries and covers everything that career-oriented women need to know to unleash their parenting potential and navigate challenges with skill and grace.

About the Book: Mom-in-Chief: How Wisdom from the Workplace Can Save Your Family from Chaos (Jossey-Bass/A Wiley Imprint, February 2009, ISBN: 0470381310, $22.95) is available at bookstores nationwide and from major online booksellers.

For more information, please visit www.mominchief.com or www.theparentleader.com.