Gophers Get 'axed;' Gamecocks Get Plucked; Cardinals, Broncos, Utes Unbeaten

By Spc. Douglas York

CAMP LIBERTY, Iraq - Every football season, there is a weekend where we all scratch our heads and think, "Why did they even bother playing these games today?" This Saturday's slate provided one of those days.

Whether it was blowouts, ho-hums or flat out games of no interest whatsoever, this week was about as interesting as watching grass grow.

Where to begin? On Tuesday, the "Cinderella" Cardinals of Ball State remained unbeaten, keeping their marginal BCS hopes alive by pummeling the pitiful Miami of Ohio Redhawks, 31-16.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, we have "Urban Legend" and his two-legged Alligator-purses beating, plucking, stuffing and cooking the Gamecocks of South Carolina, 56-6. From the sidelines, Florida's "ole ball" coach Steve Spurrier was seen scratching his head and crinkling his visor wondering: "This is what I left Gainesville, Fla., for?"

Next up, the Ohio State "Luckeyes" took luck to a new level and capitalized on several Fighting Illini miscues, cruising to a 30-20 win over the home-standing Illinois. Now, if only Illinois would have battled like their former senator and President-elect Barack Obama, my week would have been 5 and 0 for the first time this year and my upset special would have rang true!

In other Big-Ten action, Wisconsin laid the "axe" down on the Gophers' necks in the fourth quarter and eked out a win at home 35-32. Yet again do the Badgers take home Paul Bunyan's "weed-whacker," and yet again does Minnesota wallow in mediocrity.

Finally - thank goodness - in a game that's sure to inspire, be talked about, scrutinized and mulled over for years to come, or maybe only for the next few lines, head coach Rick Neuheisel returned like Julius Caesar (okay more like Brutus) crossing the Rubicon and led his mighty 4 and 6 UCLA Bruins to triumph over the stellar ...er... I mean cellar-dweller 0 and 10 Washington Huskies in Seattle. When the final death blow was given, lame-duck "U Dub" coach Tyrone Willingham was seen standing outside the UCLA bus saying, "Friends, Bruins, Coach Neuheisel... lend me a job!"

Okay, okay, you can all wake up now. This week is done and thankfully next weeks' slate is full of some dandies, including the undefeated Utes of Utah trying to bust into the BCS for the second time in four years and fellow mid-major Boise State trying to do the same. Here are the results of this week's pickers, two of whom - MG Hammond and CPT Sperberg - went 5 and 0. Same as always, the correct guesses are in green and the closest guess to the actual score is highlighted in yellow.

SSG Hood	Ball St.	Florida	Ohio St.	Wash.	Wisc.	35-10
SFC Stephenson	Miami	Florida	Illinois	UCLA	Minn.	24-21
CW5 Nixon	Miami	Florida	Ohio St.	UCLA	Wisc.	32-22
CPT Sperberg	Ball St.	Florida	Ohio St.	UCLA	Wisc.	17-14
MG Hammond	Ball St.	Florida	Ohio St.	UCLA	Wisc.	30-21
PAO Picks	Ball St.	Florida	Illinois	UCLA	Wisc.	14-12

There is a Sunday night game next week (Nov. 23) so there will not be a wrap-up of week 13 until the following Tuesday, Nov. 25. However, if you are participating weekly, this won't affect week 13's schedule. With that, don't forget to have your picks submitted to mndb_pao@yahoo.com no later than 10 A.M., Wed., Nov. 19. Continued luck to all of you! May the best team and Ironhorse Soldier win!

   _   _