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Democrats "Youthenize" U.S. Senate!

Satire By John "Kakistos" Lillpop

In keeping with the spirit of change that has overwhelmed Washington, D.C. since Tuesday last, Democrats in the U.S. Senate have started the process of pruning out old prunes to make room for fresh blood and new ideas.

Majority Leader Harry Reid launched the first wave of "Youthenaza" by announcing that 91-year old Robert C. Byrd (D-West Virginia) has resigned his chairmanship of the Senate Appropriations Committee, effective with the swearing in of the 111th Congress in January.

In a daring move to empower youth regardless of the risks involved, Reid also announced that Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii) would replace Byrd as Chair of Appropriations.

At 84, Inouye can expected to advocate with ferocity on issues that matter most to America's youth, such as Social Security, Medicare, expanded prescription drug coverage, and government paid day care for grandparents.

The move has other advantages: Senator Byrd has been in Congress for 56 years, whereas newcomer Senator Inouye has barely had enough time to learn the whereabouts of the Senate bathroom during his 45 years in town.

Now that is change with a capital C!

In resigning his post, Senator Byrd waxed religious by saying, "To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven."

"Those Biblical words from Ecclesiastes 3:1 express my feelings about this particular time in my life," Byrd said.

In his younger days, Byrd (KKK) was not quite so temperate.

For instance, when Byrd was 28 years old, he wrote about the 1945 racial integration of the military to segregationist Mississippi Senator Theodore Bilbo:

"I shall never fight in the armed forces with a Negro by my side... Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds."

Spoken like a true Democrat, Senator!

By the way, Senator Byrd, the fact that America has just elected a "Negro" to the presidency has nothing whatsoever to do with your resignation, correct?