NEWS

WIRES

OTHER

Is Barack Obama Stable Enough to Lead America?

Satire By John Lillpop

Barack Obama has paid exceptional amounts of money to have his image crafted by savvy professionals who have made the Democrat appear to be a cool, calm, and collected stalwart with both feet squarely on the ground, unflappable, and always in control.

As a result of his pricey PR makeover, Obama is seen by liberals as a perfect match for the high stress and emotional drama that comes with being CEO and commander-in-chief of the world's only superpower.

(At least we hope America will still be a superpower on January 20!)

Unfortunately, the truth about Barack Obama reveals a much different story.

To begin with, the candidate has a history of drug use as chronicled in The Audacity of Hope, in which he confesses to illegal drug experimentation.

As commendable as it is for Obama to voluntarily expose his dirty laundry, it is worth noting that former drug offenders are often quite skilled at manipulating facts to avoid the full, ugly truth from being exposed. Many drastically and deliberately understate the extent of their drug use, and hide other less innocent crimes in the process.

No one is saying that that is the case with Barack Obama; however, it is prudent to be alert to all possibilities, especially where the presidency of the United States is concerned.

Furthermore, Obama has apparently been unable to break his addiction to tobacco. Smoking cigarettes is a particularly pernicious weakness that speaks to a character defect of the type that rarely curses strong, capable leaders.

Smoking is a killer of weak community organizers, rather than bold innovators and agents of change.

Smoking cigarettes obviously poses a grave health risk, another factor that voters must take into account before voting on November 4.

Even more importantly, the President of the United States is a role model for young people all over the world; he is supposed to be an inspiration to those starting out in life with stars in their eyes and dreams in their innocent minds.

Seeing an African-American with a cigarette dangling from his mouth, obviously bound by the slavery of tobacco addiction, sends an awful message to our youth, one that makes the Audacity of Hope seem a cruel hoax.

To say nothing of the obvious appearance of impropriety. How can Barack Obama be an effective warrior against Big Tobacco moguls when the man is utterly dependent on their products for his own emotional stability?

How can the Chosen One be the poster child for "Just Say No!" when he himself is a veritable bowl of jelly without a Camel to puff on?

As if Obama's past drug use and current addition to tobacco were not bad enough, it is well known that the 47-year-old is hooked on cell telephones, again almost to the point of addiction.

In fact, unconfirmed rumors suggest that the cauliflower ears sported by the candidate are the direct result of over exposure to cell telephones!

Were it not for the disfiguring effects of constantly being affixed to a cell phone, some scientists claim that Obama's ears would be close to normal.

As it is, Obama seems a dead ringer for that popular Disney figure, Dumbo the Flying elephant.

The fact that the elephant is a copyrighted icon of the Republican Party makes Obama's appearance highly offensive to both liberals and conservatives alike.

In addition to the bad karma wrought by unsightly big ears, there is a credible health risk to take into account.

Specifically, some scientists believe that "The potential link between mobile telephones and brain cancer could be similar to the link between lung cancer and smoking -- something tobacco companies took 50 years to recognize, according to US scientists' warning."

http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5i2GtaXt_4waJptMgS8t9Kt2fx7RQ

Besides the obvious health issues involved in drug use, addiction to tobacco, and dangerous overuse of cell phones, a vital question must be answered: Why would one so cool, calm, and collected need drugs, tobacco, or cell phones to function?

Barack Obama seems to need artificial substances and or devices in order to cope.

Can Americans afford to entrust the future of this nation, and the well being of our children and grandchildren, to such an individual?