NEWS

WIRES

OTHER

One Montauk Monster a Joke; An Army of Montauk Monsters a Nightmare

By Robert Paul Reyes

The Montauk Monster has become a staple of the late-night comedy shows; America can't get enough of the photogenic beast. A sure-fire way for your blog to garner hits is to write an article about the Montauk Monster.

One Montauk Monster is a novelty, a laugh, and a great conversation starter. But an army of Montauk Monsters is no joke, it's the type of horror that keeps folks awake at night.

The Montauk Monster washed ashore not to far from Plum Island Disease Center, which isn't operated by animal-loving do-gooders, but by Homeland Security.

"The folks at the Plum Island Animal Disease Center, which is operated by the Homeland Security Department and includes researchers from the Agriculture Department, boast that they're 'proud of our role as America's first line of defense against foreign animal diseases' and that they're 'equally proud of our safety record. Not once in our nearly 50 years of operation has an animal pathogen escaped from the island.'"

Quotation from GovernemntExecutive.Com/Tom Shoop

Maybe it wasn't an animal pathogen that escaped from Plum Island, but a freak animal experiment. Is Homeland Security creating an army of Montauk Monsters to protect our borders from drug runners and terrorists?

Once loose the Montauk Monsters may have their own agenda, instead of protecting our borders they may turn their carnivorous appetite on Americans.

Instead of asking John McCain and Barack Obama questions about the Iraq war and the mortgage crisis, the press should question them about how they plan to protect the electorate from an army of hungry Montauk Monsters.

A few days ago the tide brought in a dead Montauk Monster in Montauk, but tomorrow there might be hordes of living Montauk Monsters invading Miami, San Francisco and New York City.

Be afraid, be very afraid...

Robert Paul Reyes is a NewsBlaze writer on Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontificating. Contact him by writing to NewsBlaze.