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Top 10 Reasons Why Montauk Monster Should Be John McCain's Vice-President

By Robert Paul Reyes

*Only a dead person or a dead monster has less charisma than McCain. The senior senator from Arizona doesn't have to worry about the monster upstaging him on the stump.

*With a running mate who is a rotting, stinking corpse, nobody will notice a couple of new lesions of skin cancer on McCain's face.

*With the Montauk Monster as his Veep, McCain will have the dead demographic wrapped up. In some places like Chicago the dead have a penchant for voting, and in a close election that can mean the difference between winning and losing.

*If McCain chooses the Montauk Monster it will neutralize the issue of the Republican culture of corruption. If the Dems bring it up, McCain can claim that it's a slight against the corrupting, decomposing flesh of his partner.

*It will also neutralize the issue of McCain's advanced age. McCain can boast that it doesn't matter if he dies in office, that death is no impediment to serving the people. He can point to the Montauk Monster as an example of a dead person who is living large and in charge.

*Americans are sick of the gridlock in Washington, they want change! The Montauk Monster is the ultimate outsider, and he just reeks of change.

*McCain/Montauk Monster: Alliteration equals votes!

*Nobody knows the gender or sexual orientation of the Montaux Monster. The beast will lock up the transgender/transvestite vote.

*The Montauk Monster is a worldwide sensation, he can counter the broad appeal of Barack Obama.

*This is the 21st century, Americans are ready for a monster in the White House.

Robert Paul Reyes is a NewsBlaze writer on Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontificating. Contact him by writing to NewsBlaze.

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