Top10 Ways To Exploit The Montauk Monster Internet Sensation

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The Montauk Monster has taken over the Internet, Google "Montauk Monster" and you will get over 100,000 hits. Most of these Internet sensations have a short shelf life, but I offer a few ways to extend the hype:

*Make a Montauk Monster movie, not as a horror flick but as a comedy. "If you liked 'Weekend at Bernie's you'll love 'Weekend At the Montauk Monster's Beach Pad.'"

*Auction off a date with the Montauk Monster. It hasn't been determined if the Montauk Monster is male or female, but if Lindsay Lohan wins she will be happy with either outcome.

*Give the Montauk Monster his own reality show, it will be a breathe of fresh air. He's not a has been nobody like most reality stars, he's a happenin' now pimp.

*Have Oprah Winfrey interview the Montauk Monster. It may be disconcerting trying to tell them apart, but if will be "Must See TV."

*Have the Montauk Monster flash its nether regions to the press. If America survived Britney Spears' bald vagina, we can survive anything.

*Have a brilliant writer (myself) ghostwrite the Montauk Monster's memoirs: Dead and Loving It!

*Release the Montauk Monster/Loch Ness Monster sex tape on the Internet.

*Send the Montauk Monster to a celebrity rehab center. He won't have credibility as a real celeb unless he does time in rehab.

*The Montauk Monster cologne: It will knock the ladies dead!

*Have a blogger churn out a new Montauk Monster article every day.