Published:
Op-Ed Contributor
Image of Montauk Monster Appears on Toast, for Sale on Ebay
By Robert Paul Reyes
Jesus Christ, The Virgin Mary and the Montauk Monster, what do these giants of history have in common? Their images have all appeared on a slice of toast, and have been put up for auction on eBay.
The seller (ekrecords) of the unholy icon writes:
"But when I grabbed the first piece to lightly glaze with margarine I was stopped in my tracks the moment I saw the ghostly impression of none other than the unbelievable Montauk Monster laying peacefully in the slightly charred surface of my morning toast. A wave of both horror and wonderment washed over me as I quickly understood what the bystanders that found the actual beast must have felt during those fateful seconds on the beach.
So with a charge of excitement and a slightly heavy heart, I offer this "relic" up for bid so that it may bring the same light, and slight horror, to the winning bidder as it has to my family."
I shudder at the thought that this dude almost bit into this graven image; surely the gods were protecting the image of the Montauk Monster.
My cat doesn't weigh 44-pounds, but maybe she can still make me famous. She just threw up a hairball and it looks remarkably like Oprah Winfrey, maybe I should sell my cat's hairball on eBay.
The current bid for the toast with the likeness of the Montauk Monster is $0.0, this is nothing short of blasphemy, it's worth a lot more.
The auction ends on August 8, 2008, put your bids in now.
Robert Paul Reyes is a NewsBlaze writer on Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontificating. Contact him by writing to NewsBlaze.
See More:
The Montauk Monster: Publicity Stunt, Alien or Experiment Gone Wrong?
Update: Is The Montauk Monster a Raccoon?
Top 10 Reasons Why Corpse of The Montauk Monster is Missing
Tags: montauk monster, ebay
* The views of Opinion writers do not necessarily reflect the views of NewsBlaze
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